Thursday, May 23, 2013

What's with the Wedding Bug?

Posted by Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, May 23, 2013



“People go on marrying because they can't resist natural forces, although many of them may know perfectly well that they are possibly buying a month's pleasure with a life's discomfort.” 


Okay, so be it! How much ever you might want to disagree with me (Actually, Thomas Hardy) on this, you know somewhere deep down, it is true. Not in all cases, but in many cases. Marriage is not a gamble and it is funny how people gamble with their lives in the name of marriage. Well, not everyone, but there a few exceptions.

I am astonished! I open Facebook and scroll through my news-feed and see people getting married/engaged, school-mates inviting me to their weddings and all and it actually made me wonder, "Are we like SO old?" And I knocked myself out with a hammer and started pondering over this thingy. Is it like so darn easy for them to get hitched to a stranger? God! It is so creepy. 

On a serious note, I would want to shake you and drag you into senses. Hey, would you just want to be yoked to some stranger without even knowing him? What if he listens to Taylor Swift? What if she is an alien to cleanliness? What if he wears yellow socks? What if she acts indifferent in the later part of your marital life? What if he is so incompatible with you that you dread when he comes home from work? What if she makes fun of your dreams? What if he does not stand by your side in times of dire need? What if she is not the woman of your dreams? What if you have conflicting opinions all the time? What if? No, really, what if? Scary, right? And if you belong to the category who thinks these things are not the exact deal-breakers, then, let me just suggest you something, you know, you might just do yourself a favour and refrain yourself from reading any further. Mark my words, dear!

Practically, your wedding day, the D day is supposed to be the most important day in your life and if you are truly lucky enough, you don't have to go through this ordeal twice or more, or whatever. We all need to ask ourselves some major questions, and hey, it is a serious thing, you know, it ain't funny.

Do you want to be married just because your long lost cousin's mother wants you to be a married man? Do you want to wear those silk sarees and heavy jewelry just because your community (Haha!) demands it? Do you want to spend the rest of your life, fifty years, to be precise, with someone just because your freaking family wants you to? Frankly, your family just pays fat cash for your wedding. They obviously won't spend fifty years of their life with your life partner.

I digress.

Back to the story. So, yes, do you really want to sit on those red thrones and look like fools who'd be doomed for an eternity? Do you realize that they are so old school? Do you want to be with someone who is as incompatible as Billy Joe Armstrong and Miley Cyrus would be? Do you, for a moment, give it a serious thought and realize the gravity of the situation? Oh girl, you do know that this is like a once in a lifetime thingy, right? Why marry someone who does not care for you? Why marry someone just for the heck of settling down? Do you want to sigh every-time you look at that big rock on your finger? Twenty years down the line, do you want to regret that you have plainly wasted your life on a person who never deserved you? 

Goodness gracious! I know, I am freaking out but I need to let this out. It is your day, wear what you really want to wear. Yes, the diamonds. Yes, that dress by Sabyasachi Mukherji. Yes, get your hair done like a rock star. Yes, you are listening! You want a beach wedding? Just freaking have a beach wedding under the stars. No, don't listen to that aunt who does not give two cents about your life. Yes, get that photographer and go for fancy photo-shoots. Aren't you like really bored of the oh-so-yesterday poses? Trust me, this is your day! Your parents, your friends, your confidantes will suggest and advice a lot. Be wise and act sane. IT IS YOUR FREAKING DAY.

Be with someone who is ready to stand by your side no matter what, who holds your arm and assures you (Okay, you might find this so Jane Austenish or Sophie Kinsellish but would you just care to shut up? Yes, thank you!)  and someone who is perfect with all the above listed imperfections. They might not be such deal-breakers after all. You never know! ;-)

18 comments:

jahid on 24 May 2013, 05:12:00 said...

Interesting read :)

Sunaina on 24 May 2013, 05:18:00 said...

@Jahid: Thanks! :)

RAN IN JAN on 24 May 2013, 05:23:00 said...

good read. But I think its difficult to find a perfect partner. May be the person stands besides us in our hardships and might have some other things in them which are not acceptable to us. Well, i have been thinking about this and havent reached to any conclusion yet.

Sunaina on 24 May 2013, 05:51:00 said...

Yes! Not everything can be good, right! :)

Thank you.

Namrata on 24 May 2013, 12:31:00 said...

Wow! such fresh thoughts..I wud love to wear shorts to my wedding..hw does ot sound?? really silly?? okay..jeans then..but for that I have to find someone who will stand beside me no matter what happens..LOL..does it happen outside fairytales?

Sunaina on 24 May 2013, 17:43:00 said...

If you don't find someone like that, don't get married. ;)

Stone(d)Age on 25 May 2013, 04:35:00 said...

You concluded saying "They might not be such deal-breakers after all. You never know!"

It more fits to the definition of arranged marriage. :)

Sunaina on 25 May 2013, 06:07:00 said...

Actually, no! :P

At least, not according to me.

Stone(d)Age on 25 May 2013, 07:41:00 said...

I am really confused about what I was sayin...

imo, marriage is factored by the way of living you know...in a place where you cant pick girls by buying them drinks and where physical intimation is looked down upon (i'd lol if you'd deny this!)Arranged Marriage seems the perfect way albeit in places where, you know, "getting some" is easy to come, Arranged Marriages dont make no sense.

RamaKrishna Joghadenu on 25 May 2013, 20:24:00 said...

Interesting.. ;)

Sunaina on 26 May 2013, 04:21:00 said...

@Stoned Age: I do not get it. I am sure you haven't grasped the essence of my post. I am NOT here to talk about arranged marriages or love marriages. And I am not sure why you are talking about it, sir! LOL!

The bottom line of my blog-post is, one should not be with someone just for the heck of it. One should not marry someone without any affection. It works for arranged marriages, love marriages or whatever.

Anyway, who are we to talk about them? It depends upon the individual. I am not defining the arranged marriage, love marriage and the like.

It is strange how we are even discussing about it. Because, this, is not what I meant in the post. LOL!

Sunaina on 26 May 2013, 04:21:00 said...

@Ramakrishna: Thank you! :)

Stone(d)Age on 26 May 2013, 08:44:00 said...

Well...apologies for the frivolity...!!
to me your thoughts were indeed a consequence of marriages...I'm glad it stops with the partner-choice and doesnt conclude with marriage inferences...
I sound gay lol...

this might interest you
http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/3994284-finding-the-perfect-partner-feminism-and-why-men-need-emotional-fulfilm

Sunaina on 26 May 2013, 08:51:00 said...

@Stoned Age: A very interesting one.

"Feminism has focused too much on career and forgotten about establishing women’s personal happiness, which is also a feminist goal, or at least ought to be."

This particular statement is so true. It should be an eye-opener to 'some' feminists who, honestly, do not know what feminism is and yet brag about it.

Thanks for sharing it.

Stone(d)Age on 26 May 2013, 08:56:00 said...

I'm glad you liked it...of all the women i know (i do know a few)- you have the highest Austen Quotient.

And that's a honest compliment you should cherish :)

Sunaina on 26 May 2013, 23:05:00 said...

Of course, I should.

Thank you! :)

anwesha on 27 May 2013, 07:10:00 said...

Loved it :D

Sunaina on 27 May 2013, 07:12:00 said...

Thank you! :)

 

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