Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Nice Guys Finish Last (The Scary Friend Zone!)

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, September 04, 2013
"Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the "nice guys" are. They're in the friend zone, where you left them."
-Barney Stinson

I assume more than 90% of the men freak out at the very concept of friend zone. The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend, and somehow, the discussion about math seamlessly drifted towards friend zone, and how nicely he has been friend zoned. The idiot! So, he tells me the not-so-famous tale of it and how he managed to sail in it for seven long months. Though I found it extremely funny initially, I had to take it seriously later because oh boy, he was sulking. He asked me to write a post on it.

It is not just men who are stuck in this pitfall, there are women as well. While things like "I wish my boy-friend was like you", "I wish my girl-friend was as amazing as you", "You were there when I had no one else" sound like a sweet symphony to your ears, just, for once, understand the fact that those are the only things you shall hear, my friend. Because you don't act. Hence, you don't get the real deal. You get only the drama. That is what happened to my friend there. But I don't want to blame the girl. No. I'd rather blame my friend who had been an idiot oblivious to not just the world around him, but to common sense as well.

I mean, really? Do we have to be told specifically, "Dude! You are being friend-zoned?" Whatever happened to your brains? Whatever happened to the alarming bells in the back of your head? 

Anyway, I do not understand this very concept of friend-zone. You have friends, you have these sweet, adorable friends who dote on you and listen to all your trauma and put up with your nonsensical drama. (Oh, my friends do!) Why do you need to friend zone a poor kid who would be in a hackneyed state. Forever. Believe me. They don't even understand why you dole out all the sweetness on them and leave them in a perturbed position when you find someone new. Oh, that someone who doesn't treat you right! They don't understand what to do, and how to take it. Finally, after a couple of beers and some valid advice from a nice friend (Read me. Gee!), they try and move on. But of course, they were meant to get into a muddle of thrash again and hence, they do. It is ludicrous, isn't it? We people never learn from our mistakes. Especially when it comes to relationships, we want to fall flat, get up, giddy up, and fall all over again.

Some of these situations are amusing. Very amusing. I cannot fathom how in the world my friends manage to wiggle into this zone and yes, come out of the quagmire successfully to go into another one. Super! After all, life was meant to be a back-breaker for them.

Like Stephen Chbosky mentioned in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. We might be egotistic and despicable, but we lose our pride and do all that we could for the one we love and frankly, we are just wasting it on a person who doesn't deserve it. Even a tiny bit. Doesn't a voice in your head beat some sense into you, "Did you do this to yourself all over again?"

So, when my friend asked me to write this post on him, I wondered if I really could because not many of my friends have experienced this and my idea on this is pretty slim and now that I look at this post, I see that it was a really bad idea to write one. 

Tell me, do nice guys really finish last? Or is it just an illusion?


Asisha on 4 Sep 2013, 20:41:00 said...

My personal opinion, they do end up last. I've seen quite a few people in my office.
Work does teach you a lot.

Sunaina on 4 Sep 2013, 21:36:00 said...


Jemina on 5 Sep 2013, 04:42:00 said...

honestly crosses my mind too once in a while..
I do feel that nice guys do end up last..:P
rip their timing..:)

Utkarsh said...

Being a guy, I really know what this is about and mostly every nice guy has been kept in friendzone. Most guys know the consequences being in friendzone but he is too nice to move out, the girl on other hand want a safe guy whom she can trust to help but a salman khan to love. Best part is that guys even after knowing they are being used keep on going and girls are blind to see that. I guess after this rape incidents, we always hear girls complaining rowdy guys staring in cheap manner. But why a rowdy gets the girl and nice guy sits in friendzone.

SAI KRISHNA on 7 Sep 2013, 01:29:00 said...

:):):)......just imagining how many Guys bought flowers after reading your post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kau$hik on 15 Sep 2013, 11:09:00 said...

Yeah... Sadly, not everyone is a Chandler Bing to get out of Friendzone

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:07:00 said...

@Saikrishna: Haha! :P

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:08:00 said...

@Saikrishna: Haha! :P

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:08:00 said...

@Jemina: Haha! Yes.

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:27:00 said...

Utkarsh: I don't quite agree with you. Rowdy guys, really? Now, that is overrated. I blame the guys too here. When they know everything, why sit and go through all of it in spite of knowing the repercussions? Too mainstream, eh? The girl and the friend-zoned person are to be equally blamed.

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:27:00 said...

@Kaushik: Of course!

prince on 24 Sep 2013, 10:05:00 said...

The main thing here is that the nice guys are too scared to let out the feelings(That's what I feel,may not be true in all cases)Being in the friendzone is a comfortable way to talk to the girl,be there for her and all.But they fear if they let out their feelings they might lose this very comfortable relation they share! I've not done a PHD in friendzone Its just what I observed in a few cases!


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