Woes of the Pen! :-)

Name: Pen

Age: 15 refills

Problem: Injustice.

A certain pen appeals to the court seeking justice for himself and his fellow pens.

My Honour,

I am Pen. And I do not belong to the swanky categories of Parker or Pierre Cardin but how I wish I did; at least I could sleep on velvet in the night. I belong to the mediocre category of Montex and Cello.

I seek justice, Milord, for I have been ill treated and I need a peaceful life now.

Students use me all the time to write their truck loads of assignments, notes, and tests. Few mindless writers use me to write their not-so-sensible stories. *Sighs* 

I have been exploited very badly to write novels like “Pls kiss me. Or kill me”, “Will you marry me Cupid”, “When life tricked me...Love kicked me”. Milord, I’ve been invented to write sensible things, revolutionary things, but these junky kids are using me to write things that I have never written before. They are not just senseless but are also filled with typographical errors. How do I even cope up with this! Now that few people have dumped me for Miss Microsoft Word, I am finally able to find some time for my personal chores.

When great visionaries said, “Pen is mightier than the sword”, I was proud of myself, I invested my time in building a strong pen army and yes, we attacked the swords and achieved glory. That battle, Milord, is famously known as ‘The Battle of Penipat’.

Judge: My dear young pen-man, we can solve these issues amicably.

No, Milord, no, there are more to come. Celebrities like Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez write their dumb songs using me. This is sheer injustice, Milord. [The entire court understands the pain of the pen, and looks at him sympathetically.]

Forlorn lovers use me to write their dumb love letters, and I feel ashamed of their rejection. When I sleep and stop working for a while, students wake me up by scribbling their books with graffiti like senseless designs. Few house wives use me to open their oil tins, jam bottles, and cream tubes by inserting my nib into them. What is this, Milord, how would you feel if somebody puts your head into oil?

Bimbos use me to curl their hair. Whatever happened to rollers and curlers, Milord?

Few terrible teenagers open their chips packets by blasting them with my nib. [The jury nods in agreement.]

Whoever invented the concept of use and throw pens should be hanged. School kids use us and throw us out of the windows. And have you ever heard of pen fights, Milord? Were you ever made to fight with people of your own fraternity? Yesterday I had to hit my brother, break his head and ouch! It hit me so badly. My brother was in tears, Milord. Several times, I got my cap battered. How can you expect me to buy a new cap every time I fight, Milord? I am not a rich pen.

We are choking our guts out because of these glitter pens. We are being packed in pink, yellow, orange and are thrown into a bucket of sparkling glittery gooey mess! What are we? Some hoity-toity Vampires? I would rather stay in a dungeon and drink some ink to myself. *sniffs* I feel so terrible.

 Careless kids drop us on the floor at least ten times a day and break our heads. Loony kids drop us deliberately and dive under the bench in the pretext of picking me up and laugh on a joke like Comedy Circus judges. Even worse, Sidhu and Shekhar Suman laugh like they are going to die and throw me on the floor or hit the table with me.

And these days, to keep a track of me, some pen bandits are attaching meters on me. This is intrusion of privacy, Milord!

On these grounds, please grant me some justice, My Honour.

[The Court and the jury were more than happy to provide justice to the mighty pen fraternity.]

*Pen jives in joy*

Long Live, Pen!