Name:
Pen
Age: 15
refills
Problem:
Injustice.
A
certain pen appeals to the court seeking justice for himself and his fellow
pens.
My Honour,
I am
Pen. And I do not belong to the swanky categories of Parker or Pierre Cardin
but how I wish I did; at least I could sleep on velvet in the night. I belong
to the mediocre category of Montex and Cello.
I seek
justice, Milord, for I have been ill treated and I need a peaceful life now.
Students
use me all the time to write their truck loads of assignments, notes, and
tests. Few mindless writers use me to write their not-so-sensible stories.
*Sighs*
I have
been exploited very badly to write novels like “Pls kiss me. Or kill me”, “Will
you marry me Cupid”, “When life tricked me...Love kicked me”. Milord, I’ve
been invented to write sensible things, revolutionary things, but these junky
kids are using me to write things that I have never written before. They are
not just senseless but are also filled with typographical errors. How do I even
cope
up with this! Now that few people have dumped me for Miss Microsoft Word, I am
finally able to find some time for my personal chores.
When
great visionaries said, “Pen is mightier than the sword”, I was proud of
myself, I invested my time in building a strong pen army and yes, we attacked
the swords and achieved glory. That battle, Milord, is famously known as ‘The
Battle of Penipat’.
Judge: My dear young pen-man, we can solve these
issues amicably.
No, Milord,
no, there are more to come. Celebrities like Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez write
their dumb songs using me. This is sheer injustice, Milord. [The entire court understands the pain of the
pen, and looks at him sympathetically.]
Forlorn
lovers use me to write their dumb love letters, and I feel ashamed of their
rejection. When I sleep and stop working for a while, students wake me up by
scribbling their books with graffiti like senseless designs. Few house wives
use me to open their oil tins, jam bottles, and cream tubes by inserting my nib
into them. What is this, Milord, how would you feel if somebody puts your head
into oil?
Bimbos
use me to curl their hair. Whatever happened to rollers and curlers, Milord?
Few
terrible teenagers open their chips packets by blasting them with my nib. [The jury nods in agreement.]
Whoever
invented the concept of use and throw pens should be hanged. School kids use us
and throw us out of the windows. And have you ever heard of pen fights, Milord?
Were you ever made to fight with people of your own fraternity? Yesterday I had
to hit my brother, break his head and ouch! It hit me so badly. My brother was
in tears, Milord. Several times, I got my cap battered. How can you expect me
to buy a new cap every time I fight, Milord? I am not a rich pen.
We are
choking our guts out because of these glitter pens. We are being packed in
pink, yellow, orange and are thrown into a bucket of sparkling glittery gooey
mess! What are we? Some hoity-toity Vampires? I would rather stay in a dungeon
and drink some ink to myself. *sniffs* I feel so terrible.
Careless kids drop us on the floor at least
ten times a day and break our heads. Loony kids drop us deliberately and dive
under the bench in the pretext of picking me up and laugh on a joke like Comedy Circus judges. Even worse, Sidhu
and Shekhar Suman laugh like they are going to die and throw me on the floor or
hit the table with me.
And
these days, to keep a track of me, some pen bandits are attaching meters on me.
This is intrusion of privacy, Milord!
On these
grounds, please grant me some justice, My Honour.
[The Court and the jury were more than happy
to provide justice to the mighty pen fraternity.]
*Pen
jives in joy*
Long
Live, Pen!
