Thursday, May 28, 2015

A Summer Night Rhapsody

By Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, May 28, 2015 5 comments

My obsession with nights and the urge to stay awake till the wee hours of mornings began at a very tender age. Be it studying for the next day’s test or to derive pleasure from reading comics, I liked to do them in the solitude of night. The fact that nights are so serene and beautiful, with a sky full of stars enticed me into doing a lot of things, albeit making me an anti-social human.

I don’t know what kept me hooked on to the night. Maybe it was the joy of creating something at 12 A.M. Maybe it was the first poem that I have written at 2 A.M. Or maybe it was the flow of thoughts that walk with a panache into my head after 11 A.M. Nights have always been perfect.

Summers at my grandparents’ place were quite lively when I was a child. My cousins and I would exchange stories on paranormal activities, and most of the times we made them up. I still remember those nights when we would sit up on the terrace, often jumping on the water tank, and just talk. Those were the nights when even the fireflies participated in our conversations-brightening the dark night time and again. I still cannot fathom why even the most mundane things seemed interesting during those nights, because the entire magic of our conversations would vanish into thin air in the mornings. Now that I think of it, most of my cousins are highly reluctant to stay up late now. Quite funnily, even I find it atrocious to sacrifice my nights over them. But who stays awake in the nights? Apart from musicians trying to compose their best tunes, writers trying to put words on paper, lovers mending their broken hearts, watchmen witnessing stories of their lifetime (or not), burglars, and animals.

I know, that's a lot of people.


Some nights could be quite eventful. Even when they are absolutely simple. It is said that beauty lies in little and the simplest of things. 

Tonight, as I stood in the balcony talking to a friend, it started raining. Instead of running into my room, I stood there, letting my senses soak in the aroma, and closing my eyes for a moment. As I opened my eyes, I saw the dog in my colony cuddle with two cats under one roof; I could see a girl cooking in the kitchen and tasting piping hot food right from the bowl, a child pillion riding and tugging on to her father closely.

It does not matter even if all these things have happened in a flash of a moment, it does not matter if they were just fleeting moments. They reminded me how much I loved and adored the nights, again.

And on days like these, only nights will have their say, making me stand by the window a little longer than the usual.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Almost Twenty Four.

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, May 20, 2015 4 comments

It looks like I am turning 24 in 13 days. Wow!

I have always been a huge fan of birthdays. Mostly, because of the cake. But even otherwise, I am always the weird one waiting for my birthday.

I have been hunting for the perfect dress for two weeks now. Though I found one, I am yet to get another one. And I don’t know why, I am really counting on getting the best dress ever. I have been receiving really wonderful presents and thoughtful letters from friends all over the world. I have made plans already. I am pretty excited, but I am little worried too. I am turning 24. Age might just be a number, but the last time I checked I was still 17. It does sound like a big deal to me.

Over the past few days, I have been trying to figure out the things I have done, and the mistakes I have learned from. I do not want to tread on the path of philosophy, but I am where I intended to be.

Over the past 23 years, 11 months, and 16 days, I have transformed from an introvert to an almost extrovert. I have started talking about things that matter to me--my blog is the proof to it. No matter where I am, and how old I get, I have always dreamed of being close to Literature. I am glad I haven’t given up on that dream. I am writing and I will always write. Of course, it did require a great deal of push from a corporate job to realize what I really wanted.

I have fallen in love. I have gotten my heart brutally broken. While one part of it urged me not to give up, the other part has constantly reminded me that I am what I am because of it. And honestly, it helped me realize that I have to let go of the life I planned ever so delicately to embrace the one that’s waiting for me. I am all about adventure now!

I have made friends at the oddest of moments and the unlikeliest of places. While some keep me sane, some run wild with me. I had to go through a slightly harder path to understand that you got to fight hard to keep your friends closer, and your family together. My friends are incredibly amazing. Even if they abuse me for not taking their calls. Even if they embarrass me at places I love the most.

I have kept two journals every year for a long period of time now. At the end of the year, as per my traditional calls, I destroy them. Only after keeping a copy of the really good ones.

Often you meet friends in the form of books and seek comfort in words. I have found one book 13 years ago and I go back to it time and again. That book has been a part of my life in sickness and joy. And my choice in music, my choice in music is getting better with time.

Something doesn't seem right though. On the outer shell, everything appears to be perfect. Almost 24 and I haven’t traveled even decently. What a shame! Sure, I have started taking my investments seriously, but what is the point if I am not putting them into use? Honestly, and quite seriously, I got to tick a few places off my list.

What else is on my mind? Ugh, I will just put travelling on my list of things to do for now.

I got to go get a new dress now. My birthday is just around the corner.

And oh, I will tell you all how it feels on turning 24.

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Win Some, Lose Some.

By Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, May 07, 2015 2 comments

I have never been a huge fan of losing things.

In my world, winning is, quite obviously, the winner.

It looks like the equation has been changing lately. Not that I am really losing out on things. Or to be more precise, people. But I have been making a lot of revisions to my life, and editing the terrible things quite relentlessly - all to make my 24th birthday lovelier than ever.

Metamorphosis, I reckon.

I have always wondered, how do you really measure winning and losing when it comes to things that are not tangible. How do you measure all of it when it comes to people? The million dollar solution to that dilemma would pretty much sum to nothing.

Zilch. Nada.

Now, here is the thing. Over a period of time, I have developed a habit of holding on to something that has been bruising me. It hasn't just stolen my sleep, it has stolen my peace of mind too.

I mean, come to think of it, I have lost the count of the number of days where insomnia and distress engulfed me.

And for God knows what reason, I held on to it. Maybe I was trying to seek comfort in it. Maybe I was hoping it would turn out to be better in time.

Or maybe I was just scared of making that huge a change in my life. I was controlling my emotions, and probably was choosing the wrong notions in my head over my comfort.

Big. Fat. Mistake.

I've realized, happiness is the eternal solution to that damned dilemma. That is exactly what differentiates winning from losing.

For once, I have learned that controlling things doesn't always have to be my forte. And I let go.

Isn't it quite strange? When you really like something, you succumb to it in ways you wouldn't imagine, and no matter what people say, you put yourself out there. You take that leap of faith, and fall prey to idiotic things and quote lines like "The heart wants what it wants."  Yuck. I know. But maybe, that’s how you learn. You got to make your own mistakes to learn out of them. 

The best part is when you lose some, you win some.

Only to make way for better things in your life.


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