"Check yourself before you wreck yourself."
-Grey's Anatomy
On a rather sunny afternoon, I walked into a bookstore in pursuit of buying "Fish in a Dwindling Lake" by Ambai. I could not find it and decided to order it online. But, I wandered around the book shelves like a lost child, smiling at the favourites, and grimacing occasionally at books that claimed to be Literature. I could be quite judgemental when it comes to Literature, you know?
I was about to leave when I saw a child dressed in pink, walk into the bookstore with her mother in tow. She split ways with her mother, and headed towards the section full of glossy books by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, and Dr. Suess. She picked 2-3 books and sat down on a couch, skimming through the pages. Her big, brown eyes gave away how awed she was while looking at the pages full of colours and drawings; I am sure the graphics enticed her. She put all those books back in the shelf, and chose The Little Prince, and walked to the counter, and fished money out of her pocket. Yes, she was one of those children who spent their monthly allowance on books. She reminded me of my younger self and my childhood gigs, she reminded me of the days I've spent ladling myself with literature and words as a child.
***
On my drive back home, I could not stop thinking about the child. Would she grow old to be an artist? Would she turn into a teenager who would shun books to choose boys? Would she just give in to the terms and rules set by the society instead of breaking free?
I've realized the repercussions of being an adult, which is thinking. I mean, even that child would not be so concerned about her life, the way I was. That's the joy of being a child, I reckon. You are free from thinking about future!
Let us take this a level ahead. In pursuit of planning a future, we are all losing out on the present. Even in the slightest and the silliest issues, I end up thinking about the future. You ask me how? I buy a pair of shoes from Steve Madden calling them a future investment, but never wear them. I will wear them on a special occasion, I say to myself.
The special occasion never turns up. My future investment is rotting in that purple box with confetti all over it. (I get it, this is an utterly silly example, but you get the analogy, don't you?)
No, I am not asking you to stop planning about the brighter aspects of your future--education, career, family issues. Aye, all that is mandatory.
For starters, let us stop trying to control our future. Let it stay unpredictable. Let it bring in some surprises. Just let it.
Let us stop worrying about things that hold no significance whatsoever. Let us stop worrying about getting our hearts broken--you always have ice-cream and red velvet cupcakes to heal you. Let us stop bickering, and for once, let us just stop moping around about decisions we might have to take 10 years down the line. They do not matter.
Let us write notes to ourselves. Let us write long letters to ourselves, no matter how inconsequential they are. Let us shoo away the residue of our past from our lives. (Only if it is horrid. Let those medals and accolades shine bright!)
Let us just stop controlling our lives and making grand plans of future which never work out. Let us just live our lives like a child who would refuse to plan her future and worry about the dire straits.
Let us just look at our reflections in a mirror and realize how amazing we are, and how much more we could be if only we choose not to wreck ourselves.
Let us stop preventing ourselves from things that have failed us, let us stop getting affected by petty issues and tamper our days because you can find light even at the end of the tunnel. You just need to look for it.
Let us just make a pact of breaking free and smiling a little more today.
