Tuesday, December 31, 2013

18 Things I Learned in 2013!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, December 31, 2013 14 comments

“For last year's words belong to last year's language 

And next year's words await another voice.” 

A year ago, I was spending one laid back evening at Truffles Cafe. What a simple way of welcoming a New Year! I admit it-it was the best 31st. It was perfect. Things have so changed so massively in a year. 

I sit down to write this, with so many thoughts in my head, and too many new songs in my playlist. I brood over all the things that happened this year. It has been one disgusting year topped with awful things. But, I've written down things that I learned this year. 

1. It is extremely difficult to hang out with people who do not enjoy food. Even if they are your closest friends alive on this planet Earth, I cannot be with someone who cannot enjoy food.

2. Indian writers are not bad at all. They are quite insightful. 
Jhumpa Lahiri, thanks for being with me this year. Your books were what I really needed.

3. People change. Things change. For good or bad.
You cannot expect things to be the way you want. *Sigh* So unjust!

4. A heartbreak can make you very vulnerable. It tears you apart. You see a different person in yourself. You see things with a different perspective. You change. A heartbreak is not simply an experience, it is a journey. We all go through it. Gracefully!

5. I saw myself going from "I don't want to wake up this morning" to "Let my room remain dark for I am doomed" to "I shall ignore everyone" to "Let me get sloshed" phase. And since my friends are my friends for a mighty reason, they stood by my side in madness and sadness. (It sounds cheesy. Yes, whatever!) 

6. It is alright to be alone. It is alright to go to a cafe alone, have a cup of coffee, and read a book.

For once, it is okay to go shopping alone and carry your own bags. 

It is better to watch movies alone too. Once can concentrate better. (Feel free to roll your eyes.)

7. Why, just why are people SO into this multiplex culture? It is an epic experience to watch a movie in a non-AC theater, located outside the city, without a parking lot. That is what I did this September 27. Boy, was it fun or was it fun? 

Also, the best movies are the ones I haven't watched in a multiplex. 

8. Facebook sucks. It leads to all bad things. It leads to stupid delusions.

9. Cooking takes your head off so many things. Practically, it makes you feel better. I turned into an awesome cook this year, and I just cannot stop bragging about it. Hello, are you listening?

10. There is never too much butter! I mean, really. 

11. Nothing like trance. 

12. First impression is always the worst impression. I am glad I did not go by the old idiom for I would have never made the friends I made this year. I made wonderful friends this year who put up with my whims and caprices, tantrums, ennui, and basically, every brickbat I threw at them. I am sure this trend will continue the next year, and yes, forever. Practically.

Sweet life!

12. I've started seeking comfort in words. Books. Not people. 
You've got a problem with that?

13. You can never hate the people you loved and adored once. You still feel the same about them.
You might be angry, and annoyed with them. I call it a momentary lapse of reason. 

And of course, there are always the second chances. 

14. Lately, I have realized that I am good at ignoring people. Most of the people. I am better off doing that.

If someone is trying to pull you down, if you have even a shred of dignity left, kindly shut them off. You don't need them. You deserve something beautiful. 

15. It is okay to not to have a clue on what you want to do, or what your lifetime plan is. Or what the back-up plan is if plan-A flounders.

For Christ's sake, I am just 22. I am young. I am learning. Let me make mistakes when I can afford to make them. 

16. Working in a corporate office is good. But having 100 bucks in the pocket of your pants as a college student is far richer feeling than having Visa/Mastercards in your bag. 

The coffee you share with your friends in a local place is better than Starbucks. 

17. I am glad I have a sister. Not a brother. I have enough cousin brothers who make my life painfully sweet yet miserable.

I am happy to have a sister who annoys me all the time, serves me bedside maggi, and lends me her favourite t-shirt once in a while.

18. Make memories. Take pictures. Your stupid brain won't store all the memories. Your pictures are the testament to all that you were. You didn't just have those moments. You lived them. Loved them. Take pictures. Document your life. It is worth it. 

I end this post on a rather nostalgic note. 2013, you have been incorrigible. Yet eventful. I shall never forget 2013. 

Thanks to everyone who were with me in this mad year. Also, the ones who weren't with me. Huge thanks. (No. I am not being sarcastic. *Grins*)

I hope you all have a smashing 31st and a wonderful 2014. And me? I already see a dirty martini enticing me.


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Happily Ever After Is A Fallacy!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Saturday, December 14, 2013 2 comments

“World peace, true love, and happily-ever-afters amount to wasted wishes, failed endeavors, and most precious dreams.” 
― Richelle E. Goodrich

Happily Ever After! What an overrated thing in the romantic comedies! I love romantic comedies, and notice the man and the woman end up living happily ever after. I mean, let us take Notting Hill, for instance. Beautiful movie, any day. But hello? Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant hail from two contrasting backgrounds, defy gravity, and yet manage to get back together in the end. Ask me how? That, my friend, is love. BULLSHIT!

All of us grew up reading these fairy-tales, watching Disney movies, an awfully high dosage of romantic comedies, all those classic love stories taking place in palatial mansions and we feed ourselves so much on these imbecile things that we assume love to be all velvet cup-cakes, sun-flowers and all the stupid things that come along with it. Of course, when we face the reality, we feel empty. Empty is still an understatement. It feels like you have been cheated. You know, like Disney cheated on you. Like, Grimm's Fairy Tales cheated on you. You want to hold on to that Cinderella dream but it happens in fiction only. If reality is SO cacophonous, why on Earth, were we fed the velvet cup-cake fantasy since childhood?

Let me be honest. Disney stories are stupid. Twilight is a disease. Ashton Kutcher is horrible in spite of being cute. Karan Johar's movies add up to your misery in the years to come. Jerry Maguire is hopeless. If there is any shred of reality to life, it is in Sarkar and Sarkar Raj because that is all I seem to watch on the television these days. 

I am not sure why love is an epidemic. Everywhere! This four letter word, why does it make the world go round, and round and yes, you get the drift, round. It is just that life would have been simpler if the world revolved around globalization, economy, and you know, things on which we could work and make the world a better place to live in. Basically, not the hopeless things. Yes, I just called love a hopeless thing. You sweet, adorable lovers, go on, sue me.

Alright now, who doesn't want the Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts story? Everyone does. We all believe in love and its grandeur. We all want a Happily Ever After. We deny it but we want it. But it is a fallacy. It is fictitious. No, don't you dare contradict me. 

Prince Charming, Happily Ever After, The One, Your Truly, The Soulmate, Made For Each Other? Someone, come kill me. These things aren't real. Disney cheated you and made a fortune, kid. Get over Disney and majorly, get over romantic comedies. 

This is just a self destruction and trust me, happily ever after is just a fallacy. 

Do not fall for it.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

What Happens When You Date A Writer!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, November 28, 2013 26 comments

“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. … It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.”
—Enid Bagnold

Have you ever wondered how it feels to date a writer? Fall in love so irrevocably it feels like a redemption from your rather insipid past?

When you are dating a writer, you might feel like you are with a person who is suffering with a multiple personality disorder. You can never predict what's going on in his head. Is it about the latest article that he has read or the insecurity he is experiencing about a fellow writer?

Dating a writer comes with its own pros and cons. You put up with his mood swings, his whims and caprices, and even when you feel like an outcast at times, you long for more. If a writer takes you into his life completely, he will write about you, everything about you. He will scandalize your lives. Your life becomes an open book and you find people criticizing your life. Very often! You can never escape that. A writer immortalizes you with every word. If you don't matter, he will never write about you. He is an emotional, aggressive, and a constructive lover. He loves you for all that you are but never forgets the blunders you make. They are forever engraved in his mind.

A writer is delusional. Many a time, you find yourself awake at wee hours of night exchanging tales about his day and the people he has met. You find him curling into a ball, wiping his tears when a book has a dramatic ending. You find him self absorbed, and you cannot fathom why you are so connected yet disconnected with this man whose days begin and end with words. And not you.

When you date a writer, you are up to date with all the happenings and affairs of the world. You share your tales with him, he will lend his ear amicably, and correct you often. It is for your own good, he says. Nobody's perfect at Grammar, he says. Yet you find him chastising you for not knowing the difference between your and you're. On rare nights, you see him consuming copious amounts of coffee, editing an article. Hold his arm, read his lines out, and give an honest opinion. But do not try to be an editor.

A writer may go into his cocoon but he will love you like no other. He will make love to you passionately and introduce you to the enchanting world of Pablo Neruda and Jean Paul Sartre. He is possessive and wouldn't let you be a part of another story. You belong with him and you know it.  

You find him easily disturbed even over the nitty gritty bits of a book. You call him demented. He laughs it away. There are moments when you wish you had a simple life like others. You want to run away from his nasty temper, yet find yourself enticed by his mysterious nature. He has an air of arrogance around him. You fancy it. Admit it!

"Why do you like that writer better than me? He is a misogynist." He runs his brown eyes over your lovely face, hoping for an earnest response.

You find yourself maundering. How can you possibly fight with your man for a writer who was dead decades ago. You smile. You fall for his tender childlike nature. He is on par with an infant when it comes to emotions. You take him into your arms and tell him how good a writer he is, softly appreciating his flair at weaving stories.

When a writer really loves you, he will show you his vulnerable side. For a moment, he will dismiss his wits, and take you into world that he proudly calls his kingdom -- a place where you truly belong. A place where he sits with a Hemingway's book on a worn out couch. He will never let go of you. You might let go of him, and drift away from him. But he will always remember you as a story that was left unfinished, and trust me, he will forever yearn for an ending for a writer believes in endings. Even if it is a tragic one.

His pen will ache for an ending. Always.

Monday, October 28, 2013

An Average Indian Girl!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 28, 2013 8 comments
An average Indian girl! You find her in your neighbourhood taking her dog for a stroll, you find her walking on your street on her way from college, you find her laughing with a bunch of friends, you find her buying vegetables in a local market.

You see her taking pictures of all unusual things around her, you see her walking in the malls with her girl-friend and popping her eyes out at the price of the shoes she loves. She mentally calculates how much pocket money she has to save to buy those shoes. She grew up watching Shahrukh Khan's movies and it is her lifetime dream to meet him. 

An average Indian girl, you find her watching Gossip Girl and wondering if her life would ever be like that. You find her wondering if her life would be safer if she was in a different country. You find her drooling over Matt Bomer and Ryan Gosling. You find her on a call with her boyfriend and giggling. Sometimes, it could be annoying. So very annoying.

An average Indian girl, you find her locked up in a room full of books preparing for IIT entrance exams, a distant dream that would come true in a few months. She sacrifices the fun in high school, and ignores boy crushes for that dream. In the evenings, you find her cooking for her parents, and managing all the house hold work. She pampers her younger brother and buys him goodies with her pocket money.

An average Indian girl, you find her at the pinnacle of success in an MNC. You find her wondering why she is so discontent with the success. You find her wondering why she demolished her social life for this job. You find her unhappy, and moody. You label her as a control freak and a chauvinist. You fail to understand her. You fail to understand why she is disoriented with you.

An average Indian girl, married at a tender age, and sent far away from her parents to fend for herself. She doesn't see the world, and has no life to call her own. She dedicates her entire life to her family and spends some zillion hours in the kitchen. She seeks emotional attachment but never receives any. She lives a rather morose life yet fulfills every wish of her family members. She is the true star of her children and they dote on her. You find her sitting on a couch and wondering how she transitioned from a careless girl to a responsible woman.

An average Indian girl, you find her sitting on a comfy couch and watching a romantic comedy. You find tears rolling down her eyes the moment she sees Julia Roberts in distress. She often treats herself with a scoop or two of chocolate ice-cream. She loves drama, and you find her devouring all the books she could lay her hands on. She has mood swings, let me warn you. She splurges a lot on shopping and sometimes, lives in a denial.

An average Indian girl, deeply in love with her husband. She reminisces over all the memories of her college sweetheart (now her husband), their goof-ups, the secrets they hold, the honeymoon, and the first flush of their wedding. She is comical and dotes on her husband. She is the princess of his world and he reminds her that every moment. She believes in love and fairy tales. 

An average Indian girl, she goes around in a pair of denim shorts, black chipped nail paint, she listens to Punk rock, and holds a fancy camera in her hand. She looks at the world with her kohl filled eyes. She has a friend or two, and goes to a local place to have a drink occasionally. She writes a diary, and on odd days, she cries to sleep in the nights. She doesn't like discussing her trauma. She pretends!

An average Indian girl, she goes to the temple every Saturday and believes in God. She is feminine and beautiful. You find her day dreaming about her Prince Charming and she absolutely has no idea about her future. She smiles a lot and has a lot of friends. 

An average Indian girl, you find her in your vicinity, smiling at you, sharing an anecdote with you and laughing loudly. She is lively and she makes your life extremely delightful. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

I Hate You. I Am Not Playing Hard To Get!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, October 25, 2013 4 comments

It's astonishing how few men fail to understand that you plainly do not like them. Does it ever happen to you? You know you clearly tell a guy you don't even have a tiny iota of interest in him, and yet he fails to decipher that simple statement and labels you as a woman who is playing hard to get. Like, really?

Stop hallucinating. Seriously. If a woman likes you, why in the world would she play hard to get? She might definitely fool around for a day or two but months? No idiot will play hard to get for several months, okay? If a woman really likes you, she wouldn't want to waste much time fooling around you. She exactly wants the same thing that you want. I cannot fathom how men hallucinate SO much when it comes to this. I mean, yes, women whine a lot but they get accustomed to the reality sooner or later. But the creepy men? Well, they never do. How do you have so much patience to irk the poor woman in every possible way? 

It is a known fact that we all like people that we cannot get. For instance, my eternal love for Jude Law or Ian Somerhalder. (Fine, stop rolling your eyes, I'll shut my mouth.) Men, to be specific, find this typically challenging. Though, sometimes, women like to play the mind games. I admit. But not with everyone, alright? We play mind games with the men we like. And if we really like you, we will talk to you, even if we are busy, even if we are dreaming our guts out in that neverland, we will talk to you. It is as simple as that. If we are ignoring you, it just means that we are not interested in you. Dear men, you don't need a PhD in psychology to understand this, do you?

Sometimes, it is outright annoying to receive e-mails and messages from people whom you so badly want to ignore. It is creepy. I have zero tolerance levels and I cannot put up with this non-sense. Women totally do appreciate it when men like them. But you know, there is a saturation point for the appreciation too. At some point, we lose it. We wouldn't like to carry a crappy burden on ourselves for an eternity. And if you lack the basic understanding skills to acknowledge this, please go hang yourself. Also, congratulations! You are unfit for a relationship. If you fail to understand such a simple thing, you cannot understand the complicated things that come and fall flat on your face when you are in a relationship. It's ludicrous, isn't it?

Now, let me just repeat it again. I am not playing hard to get. I am just trying to get away from creepy men like you who plan their entire lives around women. What a shame! 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Let's Be Foolish!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 14, 2013 6 comments

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” 

People who have been reading my blog, and tweets sensed that I was going through a really stupid phase, and a lot of them sent me sweet emails and messages. One sweet girl sent me a book from my wishlist. I feel loved. Thank you so much!

Obnoxious and difficult. Two words that ideally describe me. You know there are millions of us who are strong and extremely stubborn when it comes to emotions. We do not compromise; we do not settle for anything less than what we deserve but at certain point, we totally break down. SO much that we are irrevocably lost in molasses of thoughts and give up on everything. Big mistake! I mean, why don't we realize that it is just a bad phase? Not a bad life.

We need to make our own mistakes. We need to learn our own lessons. Everywhere on the internet, in books and in virtual reality, you see people doling out advice. I do too. Never follow any of them. Someone will always ask you not to do the mistake they have done. Shut up, do not listen to them. Commit mistakes. In fact, make an avalanche of mistakes. Certainly, you are young and  imbecile and you can get away with being called a juvenile (We are in India. Juveniles are entitled to many privileges.) Cut yourself some slack, and do whatever you want to do. It is okay to be hurt. Don't be so hard on yourself. 

Also, this is something very important. Let relationships be relationships. Do not let them get to you. You know like do not make major sacrifices for them. Never. Remember what Lady Gaga said? “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” 
Leaving your job, career, college and go behind a guy? Not a cool thing. Surely, never commit this mistake. 

Be the leading lady in your life. Do not let someone control you, or your emotions. If someone doesn't respect you or makes you feel inferior, do yourself a favour, and kick them out of your life. Do not stay with anyone who snatches happiness away from you. You deserve something beautiful. Listening?

Be foolish. Get high. Hang out with friends. Go out with interesting people. Read good books. Read Murakami and Pablo Neruda. Take interest in linguistic activities. Eat out at good places. Take photographs. Listen to good music. Travel a lot. Spend your money on traveling. Even if the place is just around the corner. Love yourself. And make these memories a testament to your awesome life. 

Note to self: Live the Barney Stinson life. Not Ted Mosby's!

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

To Grandma, With Love!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, October 09, 2013 4 comments

A rainy evening drifted me into the memories of my childhood. If only my grandmother was there…she would have made me a cup of steaming coffee and sit beside me, knitting and touching my hair fondly.

I vividly remember the first vision of my Grandmother. I remember a beautiful woman getting down the train and I remember running into her arms and inhaling her wonderful scent. I remember how she stood by me and influenced my life.

Every summer, my cousins and I visited Calcutta to spend vacations with our grandparents. How enthusiastic we were to meet her for she stacked up the kids’ room with lovely presents and sweets and above everything, we loved her so much. 

As time flew, we never had much time to spend with her. We hardly spent a ten odd days with her and those were the days when I saw tears in her eyes when we parted. I could never fathom why a strong woman like her had tears in her eyes! Fortunately, I got to spend six months with her when I was in high school. Those were some of the best days of my life; those were the days when she cooked delicious food for me and bought me pretty clothes; those were the days when she sat on the stair-case of the house anticipating my return from college. Six months later, when we parted again, I saw her in tears. Again. This time, I cried too.

Engineering kept me even busier and we met for only five days a year. I missed her but my college life was demanding too. My grandmother always had a habit of being the first person to wish me on my birthday and examinations. It was my fifth semester’s first examination and she promised to call me after my exam. I waited for her call and I never received it because she had a cardiac arrest. I messed my examinations. But I had nothing else in my mind. I wanted to get done with the semester, and go meet her. I waited desperately for the last exam to end.

May 1st, 2011.

Finally, my exams ended and I left for Vizag. She was so happy to see me; she took my arms in hers and cried. I saw nothing but love and fear in her eyes. She wanted to be with us, she wanted to spend more time with her children and grand-children. She just wanted more time. 

Six months later, just when everything was fine, we received a call. The call that changed everything! The call that said she was no more; the call that still makes me tremble! We started immediately and the next morning, when I saw her frail body, I felt so helpless, standing there, looking at her and sobbing. I was devastated. I fervently hoped for all the time to come back…I fervently hoped that she would come back, hug me and narrate me all the stories of her childhood…I fervently hoped that she would come back and make me chuckle loud by cracking funny jokes.

And yet again, this birthday, I waited for her call—the call that would scream a cheerful ‘Happy Birthday’ in my sleepy ears. The call that was the starter of my Birthday for the past twenty-one years!

Monday, October 07, 2013

Five Dream Jobs! :D

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 07, 2013 7 comments

“My job is to scream cockle-doodle-doo. Don't blame me if the sun doesn't rise.” 

9-5 jobs! How many of us are already warming up to this idea? The famous myth says that 9-5 jobs kill creativity, wreck your social life, ruin your friendships and relationships. Well, it is a myth. At least, in my case. 

I digress.

So, we all have an image of these oh-so-perfect jobs in our mind and in many cases, the moolah doesn't matter. Right? Hey, I am talking about the 'not-very-ambitious, creativity is all' lot here. You invest bankers are doing just fabulous. I am talking about us, the non-serious, goofy people. 

On an unrelated note, I imagined eight dream jobs but I didn't want the post to be very lengthy (and boring). So, I cut them down to five. 


1) The Foodie: Seriously, how many of us have this on our list? I mean getting paid for eating food is the best job ever. Everytime I watch "Highway On My Plate" and "The Foodie" on the television, I cannot fathom why I don't find such stimulating (Yes, I used stimulating because I don't want to come across as a glutton. Idiocy, I know) jobs.

They don't just eat a lot. They get to travel a lot as well. Gee! 

2) Travel Writer: They say traveling is the only thing that makes you rich. Word! Travel writers have such wonderful experiences, don't they? They eat different cuisines, meet new people, listen to fascinating stories, take beautiful pictures, make the less fortunate one jealous, and like an icing on the cake, they get to write in beautiful locations. Awesome!

3) Book Reviewer: Imagine locking yourself up in a room full of wonderful books. Yay! Could there be a better job?

4) The Dreamer: Okay now, dreaming isn't a simple job, okay? It is a rather painful job to remember and recollect your dreams. Wouldn't it be lovely if we get paid for dreaming? I know, I know, it is SO Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. 

I would jump and scream in joy if my boss says, "Sleep for the whole month, dream, send me a report of your dreams, and you'll get paid.

What can I say? He would be the best boss ever, my friend.

5) Movie Critic: If there is one job where money wouldn't really matter to me, it is this. I would watch four movies and a few episodes from a sitcom everyday and a lot more for this job. (Does this sound like a career objective in a C.V? Oops!) 

This, indeed, is a dream job. Call me a stereotype, but I would watch Indian movies and only those movies starring Jude Law (Say, a current obsession? It will wear off in a week.)

Like Confucius said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life", I will shed tears of joy if I do any of these jobs. 
Oh, I actually have three more dream jobs. But I will come up with another post soon. 

So, what are your dream jobs? 

Friday, October 04, 2013

Oh, I'm Doing SO Great!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, October 04, 2013 6 comments

“That's how it is with relationships, it's a part of life, and all the great love songs and poems and films have been written by people who were standing where I was that morning as Simon shut the door. Doesn't make it any easier though. ” 

Alright, so a week ago, I was talking to my friend about break-ups and decided I should write a post on this. We were talking about break-ups and its repercussions, the changes we see in ourselves, and the things we do. Some very surprising ones, and some really mundane ones. I know it is a phase of a life and all of us kind of go through it. I know, I get the drift but some people somehow just amaze me with their stupidity. Like, the ways they choose to help you to move on (or) not. Oops!

People, even some friends try to get this sadistic pleasure out of your break-ups. I mean, definitely, what fun! Googly! I mean, you are practically sitting in a corner of your ever so messy room and crying your guts out, turning your cushions damp and all that, your friend comes to you and says "Stop crying. You deserve better. Be glad that is over. She was a piece of shit." Really? That is the most condescending thing ever, guys. STOP DOING THAT. You don't decide who the person really deserves. Whoever it is. It is for the person to decide. You deserve better is the most overrated statement unless the person you are/were dating is a nincompoop. Still, your friend decides if the person is a nincompoop or awesome. So, let them be.

There are people who constantly text "How are you", "Feeling any good, lately?" and it makes me go WHAAAAAAAAT? I mean how do you want the person to respond? "Oh, I am doing SO great. So great that I have been watching Dexter all over again and the finale made me go so emotional that I cried I would miss the Morgans?" Or should the person respond "Wow! I am going through a break-up. Clearly. The enchanting patterns you see there on the white cushion are actually my mascara marks moistened with my tears and all that and still you are asking me if I am feeling better? Wow."

I have come across people who say that it is high time you move on. Of course, your sulking period has reached the saturation point and the people who aren't even going through what you are going through are the ones who decide how you should plan your sulking period. And when you should end it. Like it is some fasting period. Super! No offense, guys. But it is really annoying. You are doing more harm that help. 

A year ago, my friend was going through a horrible break up, and in order to help her to move on, her cousin told her explicit things about what happens to people when they break up, and the kind of places they end up. Thanks to him, she slipped into depression for many months. Her cousin was obviously mad. Instead of letting her be, he chose stupidity over silence and messed her head up. Sweet!

Okay. Take a deep breath. You, my friend, are not helping your friend to move on. You are plainly screwing their head and feeding them nonsensical matter. You are being judgmental, hypocritical, and perhaps, brutal? Break-ups are shitty. We are all wired in a different way, and rationally, we all react to different things in a different way. Hey, I don't react to things just the way you do. Also, during this phase, we try to find comfort in several things. We try to. Some good, some bad. There is nothing shallow about it and we don't have to be ashamed about it. First rule, there is nothing shallow about finding comfort in something. It might be bad for you. Not for us. At the end of the day, people want to be happy. Let them be happy. And once they are out of the oh-let-me-sit-and-sulk period, they would not do anything lethal.

Sometimes, ice-cream and Grey's Anatomy aren't enough. You need people. To listen to your trauma. People who don't judge you. People who support you. And we learn from our own mistakes. We don't have to be guided. No, thanks. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Let's Get Over The Fairness Fad, Already?

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 17, 2013 8 comments

"Interesting that a country that gives so much sale to fairness creams is calling Americans racists."
-The Bad Doctor (On Twitter)

In a country where fair-skinned people are considered to be good-looking is a common dogma, it is indeed a commendable thing that Nina Davuluri (Though she was born and raised in the U.S.) won Miss Syracuse and then Miss America 2014 now. It gave me a colossal joy when my father barged into my room to give me in the news early in the morning. "Mana Vijayawada ammayi Miss America aindi." (A girl from Vijayawada is crowned to be Miss America.) Later, I heard many opinions, some very debatable ones. Truth be told, if Nina contested from our country, she would not have had this opportunity. Let's be very honest with ourselves. Our Indian sub-continent is majorly obsessed with the fair-skin. We are SO badly stuck in that frame of reference and sadly, we refuse to change. Well, who can help it?

How many of us remember the really condescending "Fair & Lovely" advertisements? For a moment, let us stop calling the West as the racists, and deal with our own flaws, shall we? Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, the very famous Fair & Lovely advertisements. Yes, the same advertisements where the dark women get rejected by the men and fail to attract partners, they use Fair & Lovely, and voila! They turn into marriage material. Super! And much to my chagrin, there were people and to be precise, parents who forced Fair & Lovely, Fairever and whatever on their daughters. And still are. I know, very strange!

It is quite surprising that even celebrities promote fairness creams. Shahrukh Khan's Fair & Handsome for instance? Very disappointing! This fad doesn't just end here. We segregate people based on communities, states, religions etc. Like you know, she belongs to that community, and people in that community are supposed to be bewitching. I mean, of course, they had the secret potion of Aphrodite. It is self-explanatory, nay?

There was a period in India when young women used bleach, random fairness creams promising exquisite fairness and glow, and going around beauty salons in order to turn fair. I mean, really? This is your skin colour and you cannot do anything to turn ten shades lighter, alright? Unless, you want to get it done like Michael Jackson then, you my friend, can be my guest. The fairness fetish has its own catastrophes too. In the long run, bleach and all those fairness promising creams damage your skin. We know this yet we want to be complacent with the present state of being fair. Stop being stupid. Yes, you!

Nandita Das, who supports "Dark Is Beautiful" campaign is a wonderful woman and I am not sure if I have ever come across anyone more beautiful than her. She is an inspiration. I'd like you all to watch this video where she talks about this:

Beauty is a myth. Everyone is beautiful. Your colour doesn't decide your beauty. Do not be a victim of this ridiculous delusion. On a serious note, let us stop being such blockheads. The people whom you don't consider charming are the ones who are recognized internationally and create a niche for themselves. It is high time we all change.

And oh, let's get over this fairness fad, shall we?

It Is Not A Love-story!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 17, 2013 2 comments

She sat cross-legged on the couch. He sat on the bean bag.

"So what's the deal?" He asked.

"No way. I am not letting you into the excerpts of my diary." She almost yelled at him.

"Oh come on, I've read a part of it anyway. Be a sport and tell me. Who's The One? I won't laugh. I promise."

"Please. No."

"I insist. Please."

"Ugh, okay, promise me you won't laugh. Truth be told, I haven't met him yet. He is just fictional. But he is The One. And that's what I want."

"Whatever. Let's just get with it now."

"Okay, okay. Umm, so, yes, William Darcy like. Neat. Eddie Vedder follower. A perfect relationship. So Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant-ish. First kiss under the stars. Long drives in the rain. Keats poetry. Basketball champion and...."

"Hahahahahaha. Stop right there. A guy like that wouldn't exist. Even if he did, I am sure he would be nothing less than lame. And just for the record, basketball and Darcy don't go together."

"They do. They so do. In my world."

"Yes, your world is fictitious and LAME. Let me get back to my football now. Give me the remote control. I have wasted enough time already." 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Identity-All That Matters!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Saturday, September 14, 2013 4 comments

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Throne"

I sit cross-legged on my bed and think of various things. The first thing that comes to my head is a message from a blog reader who wanted to talk about the woes of her relationship. That lovely lady, who is extremely successful couldn't think rationally. A moment of despair. It happens with all of us.

So, her message made me regard few things carefully. We tend to behave illogically when we are vulnerable, of course. But what she told me was an entirely different thing altogether. She didn't act insane, yell or cry. She thought things would have been easier if she was someone else. She said she was ashamed of her identity. Now, that made me uneasy. A moment of despair, I still reckon. If you say it is completely natural to change a person's identity and to want to be someone else altogether to win someone's approval, I would ask you to think twice. Does it really matter? Yes, it does. At the end of the day, your identity is the only thing that matters.

Practically, it defines you.

There are many of us who change our personalities for someone, for someone to like us, approve our very existence, and the metaphors. I mean, really? I know "If someone likes you, they'll accept you just the way you are." "You don't have to change yourself. You are what you are." are very old school thoughts but we are still using them because they still hold the same importance. They haven't turned obsolete.

You are what you are. Love yourself and everything falls into place. Do not, even for a moment, change your identity for someone else. Do anything. Just anything. But don't change what you are because believe me, the person in question liked you for what you are and not for a probable reason that you might change in future. Though I find YOLO the stupidest thing ever, I don't see a point in a living a life waiting for someone's validation because you live only once. Like Stephen Chbosky says in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, "I would die for you but I won't live for you.

Good morning!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Let Geminis be Geminis! :D

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 10, 2013 6 comments

"I'm a Gemini, so I change my mind everyday."
-Natalie Portman

Lately, I have started observing the traits of people belonging to different sun-signs. Of course, things have been getting so weird in my life that for a while, I was convinced it is the sun-sign. Say, the fault in our stars! There were times when I assumed Geminis stick into more trouble than Leos or Libras. I checked out few Geminis around me, sadly, there weren't many, and felt they were in a similar situation. The muddle, the dire straits, and the unnecessary heartaches. On a serious note, this is utter nonsense. My brains didn't just go to the dogs but even the dogs discarded them. Everyone around me had tribulations. The fault in the stars in SO mainstream. And oh yes, over-rated. Or, may be, I don't know. I am just not sure.

Truth be told, my confusion about the stars isn't the plan of this post. Like I said, I have been observing people. I have been closely following Gemini traits, famous personalities, habits, and the metaphors. Though some of the facts and tales have acted as a fine catalyst for my ego boost, some of them have been mean. Devious and mean. I mean, we have been categorized as the Ram Gopal Varma of the sun-signs. I shall be happy for I really like Ram Gopal Varma. You know like you can love or hate Geminis, but you simply cannot ignore them. 

Myth: Geminis are vagrant. They are the most unstable people ever.
Truth: How in the world is this even valid? Anyone could be unstable. It is not a Gemini trait.

Myth: Owing to the twins, Gemini love to spice up their romantic life with a tinge of variety.
Truth: I mean, seriously, who is writing all this?

Myth: Geminis have a strong ethical code.
Truth: Didn't you just call us vagrant?

Myth: Geminis can be possessive or jealous over their loved ones but don't show it.
Truth: You got to be kidding me. Please.

Myth: Text a Gemini first. They'll love it.
Truth: No, thanks. We don't!

Myth: Geminis are always on the go. That's why it's hard for them to pick up the phone.
Truth: Duh! I am on phone all the time. It is like I am always on phone and not on the go.

Myth: Geminis make sure that an impossible relationship also works.
Truth: You wish, my love, you wish!

Myth: Geminis want world peace.
Truth: Ugh, I don't know how to answer that one. Of course, who wouldn't want that but I am not sure if we have a specific opinion on that. At least, I don't.

Myth: Geminis think a lot..but don't say much.
Truth: Says who? I think a lot, spice it up and say a lot.

On a serious note, this is not us. Let me tell you how a Gemini functions. (It is a vague attempt. Come on, now stop rolling your eyes.) 

Geminis are so full of themselves. Yes, we are selfish, and self obsessed. Sometimes, to the point of vanity. I agree. Sarcasm and sweetness come in a mixed bag. Or ugh, is it sugar-coated sarcasm? Could be! While we could be self obsessed and all that, we go take an extra mile and do things if we like someone. We are moody and don't mingle with everyone. We get turned off very easily and honestly, it is a herculean task to please us. Sometimes, it is hard to decipher our feelings, but we are Geminis and that is how we roll. Hey, Geminis could be nice and all that, just stop pointing out just the mean and devious things. Let Geminis be Geminis!

Anyway, you know what? There are and have been some really awesome Gemini celebrities-Johnny Depp (Ooh!), Marilyn Monroe, Morgan Freeman (Gemini! Ha!), Angelina Jolie, Macklemore, Paul McCartney.

Okay, I am done bragging. Ciao!

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Nice Guys Finish Last (The Scary Friend Zone!)

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, September 04, 2013 12 comments
"Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the "nice guys" are. They're in the friend zone, where you left them."
-Barney Stinson

I assume more than 90% of the men freak out at the very concept of friend zone. The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend, and somehow, the discussion about math seamlessly drifted towards friend zone, and how nicely he has been friend zoned. The idiot! So, he tells me the not-so-famous tale of it and how he managed to sail in it for seven long months. Though I found it extremely funny initially, I had to take it seriously later because oh boy, he was sulking. He asked me to write a post on it.

It is not just men who are stuck in this pitfall, there are women as well. While things like "I wish my boy-friend was like you", "I wish my girl-friend was as amazing as you", "You were there when I had no one else" sound like a sweet symphony to your ears, just, for once, understand the fact that those are the only things you shall hear, my friend. Because you don't act. Hence, you don't get the real deal. You get only the drama. That is what happened to my friend there. But I don't want to blame the girl. No. I'd rather blame my friend who had been an idiot oblivious to not just the world around him, but to common sense as well.

I mean, really? Do we have to be told specifically, "Dude! You are being friend-zoned?" Whatever happened to your brains? Whatever happened to the alarming bells in the back of your head? 

Anyway, I do not understand this very concept of friend-zone. You have friends, you have these sweet, adorable friends who dote on you and listen to all your trauma and put up with your nonsensical drama. (Oh, my friends do!) Why do you need to friend zone a poor kid who would be in a hackneyed state. Forever. Believe me. They don't even understand why you dole out all the sweetness on them and leave them in a perturbed position when you find someone new. Oh, that someone who doesn't treat you right! They don't understand what to do, and how to take it. Finally, after a couple of beers and some valid advice from a nice friend (Read me. Gee!), they try and move on. But of course, they were meant to get into a muddle of thrash again and hence, they do. It is ludicrous, isn't it? We people never learn from our mistakes. Especially when it comes to relationships, we want to fall flat, get up, giddy up, and fall all over again.

Some of these situations are amusing. Very amusing. I cannot fathom how in the world my friends manage to wiggle into this zone and yes, come out of the quagmire successfully to go into another one. Super! After all, life was meant to be a back-breaker for them.

Like Stephen Chbosky mentioned in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. We might be egotistic and despicable, but we lose our pride and do all that we could for the one we love and frankly, we are just wasting it on a person who doesn't deserve it. Even a tiny bit. Doesn't a voice in your head beat some sense into you, "Did you do this to yourself all over again?"

So, when my friend asked me to write this post on him, I wondered if I really could because not many of my friends have experienced this and my idea on this is pretty slim and now that I look at this post, I see that it was a really bad idea to write one. 

Tell me, do nice guys really finish last? Or is it just an illusion?

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Your Favourite Thing Is No Longer A Favourite!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, August 28, 2013 2 comments

But the absolute worst was when people asked if I was okay. Because then I had to admit that it was real, it happened, and we weren't together anymore.” 

A week ago, I received a message from a girl who was grieving over her break-up. She asked me to write a post about her relationship. This post is definitely not about her relationship. This post is about the things which were once our favourite transform into not SO favourite things during/after a break-up. For instance, let us talk about sitcoms. Consider yourself lucky, if your ex doesn't watch sitcoms. (Yippee!) If he does, well, do not share your favourite sitcoms with him. Let me warn you, each time you watch that favourite episode of yours, you do not see Joey in it, no, you don't. In fact, you see your ex. So rule no. 1, never watch your favourite sitcoms with anyone. (Your ex as Joey is such a blasphemy, I tell you. I mean, it is Joey for Christ's sake.)

But let me tell you what's the worst thing-your favourite restaurants. I mean, how many of us have literally stopped going to our favourite restaurants after break-ups because they trigger all the old memories and makes us go...you know...damn, you know it. If you are a foodie and you love your favourite restaurant, don't share it with anyone because you wouldn't want to sit and sulk at the place which was once your favourite corner. Oh dear!

Sometimes, ice-creams helps you a lot to come out of terrible situations. Yes, a second serving helps you a lot more and an entire tub of it just solves all your problems. I know people are always telling us things that we don't want to hear, and we sort of stay in denial during these times. Who are we kidding, anyway? My girl friend (and she happens to be my 3 A.M. friend) tells me ice-cream therapy doesn't work. She tells me that her favourite flavour of ice-cream gives her panic attacks. I wish I could roll my eyes. I wish. But I couldn't for the fact that she would read this post. So she tells me how Oreo Peanut Butter ice cream was her favourite, and how she and her ex shared it almost everyday. (Well! Why don't I get to eat that shit everyday) And she tells me between sobs and hiccups that she is not able to forget him or eat her favourite flavour of ice-cream that she used to eat everyday. 

The woes just don't end here. My friend tells me that he regrets sharing his playlist with ex because it reminds him of her. I mean, seriously, every time, you fish out that iPod of yours, and listen to your favourite track by Coldplay, what happens? It simply drifts you into not so pleasant memories or like in my case, very pleasant memories because I never dared to share my playlist with anyone else. Isn't a playlist like a personal diary, duh? It is. Every bit. Never share it, okay?

Your favourite restaurants, songs, movies, sitcoms, food, and you get the drift, right? All these things are no longer your favourite. They remind you of things that are no longer yours. I know right. So, when you eventually lose a person anyway, why do you want to gamble with your favourite sitcoms, ice-cream or restaurants? Sometimes, it is nice to be selfish and keep your favourites to yourself instead of sharing them with your partners, because your favourite things should help you to come out of the trauma. Not increase your trauma.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Can We Stop The PDA, Already? :O

By Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, August 23, 2013 2 comments

Hello people! I am traumatized. Like, really really. I turned up at work after a long period and everything feels so NEW. For instance, I see this couple doing rounds all over the office painting it in red. Do not get me wrong there. I love couples, people in love, and all that jazz. I love couples who claim their love for each other to each other, you know? Not to the entire work-place. I mean, gosh!

I completely understand. We all have quite endearing nick-names for our loved ones and it evokes a certain amount of pleasure to call them. Yes, I agree. But calling people as "Shona" and "Babushka" at work-place or in public in a voice that is higher than 10000 decibels? Not a cool thing.

I know, it is amazing that you have a partner with whom you could share every freaking thing but hello? You don't have to let the entire universe know that. And oh, since few of us here don't have anyone out there to share everything and look forward to, we feel like shit. Too much of love, baba! Of course, I do have my blog with whom (and where) I share everything. Oh yessssssss! My blog is the best thing that has happened to me, so may be, I should write a meaningful love letter for my adorable blog? Okay, I'll shut up. 

Let's face it. Couples who go head over heels for each other in public aren't the epic examples of love. I mean have you ever come across William Shakespeare's protagonists calling each other "muffin" in the public? Okay, I know they are fictional characters. While gushing over each other and whispering sweet nothings is a nice thing and all that, doing so in the public just attracts brick bats.

And on an unrelated note, ladies, please stop acting dumb with a guy. If a guy does not like you for what you are, then there is no point in changing yourself for him. Acting dumb is a big no-no. You listening?

So what do you think happens if you go all mushy-mushy in front of a zillion spectators? Of course, not the "Brangelina" sort of mushy-mushy which we, the weak-hearted people, could tolerate. Well, this is what happens:

1) You are a laughing stock of those zillion spectators. And they just go around talking about you to their friends. Do you want to be that?
2) You are the only topic of discussion during sleep-overs and girls night-outs. How creepy is that?
3) Occasional blog-posts from cold hearted people like me. (Sniff! I know we don't understand your eternal love.)

Okay. I am done. Bye.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

My Article In Deccan Chronicle.

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, August 21, 2013 4 comments

Wuhoo! So, today's Deccan Chronicle (Chennai) has published an article that I have written. I AM JUST SO EXCITED.

People from Chennai, do check it out. And the others, well, the e-paper.

Indiblogger, thank you SO much! :D

You can check out Indiblogger on Facebook here!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Women-The Famous Drama!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Sunday, August 11, 2013 8 comments

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” 

You know how much I love this quote? I mean, I sort of consider it as a holy line whenever I do things that I am not really proud of. Like seriously, we do not have to be well behaved all the time, do we?

I digress.

Alright, I know I have been passing quite disdainful remarks about men and their haughty nature and whoa, quite a female attention my blog grabbed there but we all know the famous, old school quote that says no one is perfect. It pretty much speaks for this post. 

(This post is majorly about the common mistakes that I do in massive amounts. Some of you ladies are pretty wonderful and come without any drama and all that. I wonder how. But yes, I hope you don't find this post condescending. Cheers!)

Women are complicated. I accept it. Honestly, there are times when I wonder why we do few things. But we are women. And that is how we are. We act without using our brains. Ah, now that is where men earn brownie points because women are world class experts at acting without thinking. We have created a niche for ourselves in that sector and boy, men can never beat us there. Ha!

Let us dive deep. Women are wonderful, amazing, pretty mothers, sweet sisters, lovable partners and all that. But we are outrageous. We surely do understand herculean issues easily and take it in own stride but the petty issues are never forgotten. Never! Our drama is epic. Of course, it is pointless and baseless as ever. Still, it is epic.

The other day, I had a nasty fight with my friend and I bashed him badly. It didn't end there. He knocked some sense into my head and I got the taste of my own medicine. For instance, I am an obnoxious (Thank you) idiot and the things I do depend on my mood. I might love you a lot but if my mood is not okay, well, I am a neurotic person let out on loose and if my mood is okay, I am my adorable self. . 

There are moments when people are extremely busy and they might not have time for us. Women don't take it very easily. We build several stories and create a plot in our head which is ouch, miserable. Why do we this? But we are women, and that is how we are.

We take Dr. Suess tad too bit seriously. On a serious note, it does not work out this way most of the times. I fathom why! 

There are moments when everything is just so outright positive and we crave for imperfection. When there is an imperfection, we pine for perfection. One moment, when we are sweet and caring, the other moment, we are cold and crabby. We love challenges and anything that is less than challenging is so boring and routine for us though I am in a Please-No-More-Challenges mood right now.

We love men, and try everything to change them, and when they change, we shun them saying, "You know what? You aren't the same anymore. I don't think it is working out." CLASSIC! 

Sometimes, I wish we were like men-no drama, more understanding, more sensible, less emotional baggage. But we are women and we are loved for what we are. Despite all the drama and insecurities, we care. We don't portray our emotions like men. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Remember? (What the hell am I saying! Boo)

The major point-All men are cut from the same cloth. Men function similarly. Kind of. Almost. But women don't and never expect two women to act just the same. Yes, when one woman is sane and all that, the other woman is all about being cold and obnoxious; bickering and being loud doesn't mean we care anything less. We are women and this is how we are wired. It is hazardous to be stuck in a process of figuring us out. Let us be! *Girl Power*

Monday, August 05, 2013

Are Women Emotionally Strong?

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, August 05, 2013 12 comments

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” 

"Women are emotionally weak and they need men to do everything in their lives." Let us all pause for a moment and assess how true this statement is. Actually, it is not true at all. It is a fallacy. I have been listening to this statement a lot lately and I believe women need men as much as men need women. How long are we going to live in a state of denial saying men are stronger than women? Yes, definitely, men are considered to be the stronger sex and women are considered as the weaker and the fairer sex. However, I am referring to the emotional strength here.

We, women, cry out a lot. We do not do a great job in bottling up our fears and feelings. Men do not cry. It is a rarity. And they do a perfectly great job in covering up their feelings. In most of the cases, they do not discuss the problems, they tend to postpone them. But I am not blaming them here. They are wired that way and women are wired in an entirely different way. 

I would not agree that women are emotionally weak. Women are surely stronger than men when it comes to emotions. But there are few instances where we go wrong. For instance, we depend a lot. On men. Not just on our platonic partner, we depend on our father, guy friends, uncles etc. And when they deny us something, we think that is the end of the world. That doesn't mean we cannot handle our situations. We can. It is just that we depend too much and give a lot in relationships. Sometimes, we lose ourselves in those relationships and give in so much that it hurts like shit when we come out of them. It is like we leave a part of ourselves there and move out. 

Like Joseph Conrad said, it is an incredibly different task to be a woman. We multitask, we over think, we over analyze, and create situations that have never existed and might never exist. But our problems don't just end here. Like an icing on the cake, men complicate our lives. Now, do not get me wrong there. Men, in spite of being chivalrous, nice and all that, they are extremely ridiculous. And whoever said women are complicated and are tough to figure out surely did not understand the fact that we deal with men, and their massive male zeta ego. Oh please, let me just not get there. It is a taboo zone.

The other day my girl friend, Saubhagya called me up and spoke a great deal, and asked, "How did we land up in such a mess, Miss P(A strange way of regarding me as Miss Patnaik)?" Now, that is a million dollar question, the answer to which is umm..I don't know. Women are emotionally stronger. Let me tell you why! We crib, and demand for attention and emotional security but we reach a point where we realize that we don't want to be an emotional baggage on the person we love the most. Men are strange. They can be an emotional baggage and a messy one at that. But they do not want to put up with our emotions. What a shame! We do not shy away from problems. We discuss them openly and get over them eventually. It is a painfully slow process though. Even when men hurt women repeatedly, women pull themselves together and well, get with it. I mean, just because we cry a lot it doesn't mean we are weak. It is not a sign of vulnerability. It is just a sign of losing love and affection and I can vouch for that. 

In every case, women are emotionally stronger. Crying out loud isn't a sign of emotional weakness. Anyway, all we need is a pair of new shoes to make our lives better. And oh boy, men need a lot. They pretend to be groovy and all that. But they are world class sulk-ers. (A word like that doesn't exist.)

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