Settling For Happiness!

“HAPPINESS [is] ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Be it euphoria or melancholia, I have always had a trouble expressing it. From a shy child to a reclusive teenager, I might have metamorphosed into a rather outgoing adult (MAYBE!), but I faltered in expressing things. Always.

Strangely, I was never troubled in putting my emotions in words. All I needed was a pen and a paper.

I believed it was the best I did.

In a nutshell, I would write everything in a journal, pretending the journal was my best friend, hoping my bright pink journal would be happy at my success, and gloomy during my shoddy times. Of course, it was not!

I might as well thank my stars for being blessed with a company of great friends. That did not pull me out of this misery either. My inability to explain even the most exquisite things was beyond my comprehension, however, my flair at expressing even the most mundane things with grandiosity surprised me. 

Much ado about nothing.

I reckon the stars had a different plan for me. 

I cannot handle extremities, and quite presumably, I tend to push people away during those situations. But people around me never left me alone--they urged me to talk about things that troubled or mattered, they hovered around me wondering if I would ever let them into my world. And I did.

It could be a simple text from your friend saying she is proud of what you do, or opening shopping bags with your best friend, sharing happiness has found its way into my life for all its intents and purposes. Amidst all the chaos of euphoria, mood swings, melancholia, I have also discovered one person who doesn't squeal in joy along with me; that person still taunts me in my joy. But it doesn't matter because happiness is pure when shared with that person.

I have never realized happiness would be this beautiful when shared with you, and I am coming to terms with it. Awkwardly yet happily!

Identity-All That Matters!

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Throne"

I sit cross-legged on my bed and think of various things. The first thing that comes to my head is a message from a blog reader who wanted to talk about the woes of her relationship. That lovely lady, who is extremely successful couldn't think rationally. A moment of despair. It happens with all of us.

So, her message made me regard few things carefully. We tend to behave illogically when we are vulnerable, of course. But what she told me was an entirely different thing altogether. She didn't act insane, yell or cry. She thought things would have been easier if she was someone else. She said she was ashamed of her identity. Now, that made me uneasy. A moment of despair, I still reckon. If you say it is completely natural to change a person's identity and to want to be someone else altogether to win someone's approval, I would ask you to think twice. Does it really matter? Yes, it does. At the end of the day, your identity is the only thing that matters.

Practically, it defines you.

There are many of us who change our personalities for someone, for someone to like us, approve our very existence, and the metaphors. I mean, really? I know "If someone likes you, they'll accept you just the way you are." "You don't have to change yourself. You are what you are." are very old school thoughts but we are still using them because they still hold the same importance. They haven't turned obsolete.

You are what you are. Love yourself and everything falls into place. Do not, even for a moment, change your identity for someone else. Do anything. Just anything. But don't change what you are because believe me, the person in question liked you for what you are and not for a probable reason that you might change in future. Though I find YOLO the stupidest thing ever, I don't see a point in a living a life waiting for someone's validation because you live only once. Like Stephen Chbosky says in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, "I would die for you but I won't live for you." 

Good morning!