Saturday, September 14, 2013

Identity-All That Matters!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Saturday, September 14, 2013

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Throne"

I sit cross-legged on my bed and think of various things. The first thing that comes to my head is a message from a blog reader who wanted to talk about the woes of her relationship. That lovely lady, who is extremely successful couldn't think rationally. A moment of despair. It happens with all of us.

So, her message made me regard few things carefully. We tend to behave illogically when we are vulnerable, of course. But what she told me was an entirely different thing altogether. She didn't act insane, yell or cry. She thought things would have been easier if she was someone else. She said she was ashamed of her identity. Now, that made me uneasy. A moment of despair, I still reckon. If you say it is completely natural to change a person's identity and to want to be someone else altogether to win someone's approval, I would ask you to think twice. Does it really matter? Yes, it does. At the end of the day, your identity is the only thing that matters.

Practically, it defines you.

There are many of us who change our personalities for someone, for someone to like us, approve our very existence, and the metaphors. I mean, really? I know "If someone likes you, they'll accept you just the way you are." "You don't have to change yourself. You are what you are." are very old school thoughts but we are still using them because they still hold the same importance. They haven't turned obsolete.

You are what you are. Love yourself and everything falls into place. Do not, even for a moment, change your identity for someone else. Do anything. Just anything. But don't change what you are because believe me, the person in question liked you for what you are and not for a probable reason that you might change in future. Though I find YOLO the stupidest thing ever, I don't see a point in a living a life waiting for someone's validation because you live only once. Like Stephen Chbosky says in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, "I would die for you but I won't live for you.

Good morning!


Naina on 15 Sep 2013, 08:24:00 said...

nice one:)
Its difficult to fight against yourself each moment because in that case no one can live the way he/she wants.Rather , I would say the person would not live at all.
The quote mentioned is also from other book"The Fountainhead" in which the protagonist advocates this virtue.
I think people choose to fight against themselves to live up to someone's expectations...and I still wonder why?Do they lack faith in themselves?

Jemina on 15 Sep 2013, 11:33:00 said...

True. I totally agree with you.
Identity defines a person and one shall never be ashamed of being whoever they are. So what if life gives us lemons, cant transform into someone else.:)

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:02:00 said...

@Naina: I know right. :) Thanks a lot!

Sunaina on 15 Sep 2013, 21:02:00 said...

@Jemina: Totally!


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