Monday, October 28, 2013

An Average Indian Girl!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 28, 2013 8 comments
An average Indian girl! You find her in your neighbourhood taking her dog for a stroll, you find her walking on your street on her way from college, you find her laughing with a bunch of friends, you find her buying vegetables in a local market.

You see her taking pictures of all unusual things around her, you see her walking in the malls with her girl-friend and popping her eyes out at the price of the shoes she loves. She mentally calculates how much pocket money she has to save to buy those shoes. She grew up watching Shahrukh Khan's movies and it is her lifetime dream to meet him. 

An average Indian girl, you find her watching Gossip Girl and wondering if her life would ever be like that. You find her wondering if her life would be safer if she was in a different country. You find her drooling over Matt Bomer and Ryan Gosling. You find her on a call with her boyfriend and giggling. Sometimes, it could be annoying. So very annoying.

An average Indian girl, you find her locked up in a room full of books preparing for IIT entrance exams, a distant dream that would come true in a few months. She sacrifices the fun in high school, and ignores boy crushes for that dream. In the evenings, you find her cooking for her parents, and managing all the house hold work. She pampers her younger brother and buys him goodies with her pocket money.

An average Indian girl, you find her at the pinnacle of success in an MNC. You find her wondering why she is so discontent with the success. You find her wondering why she demolished her social life for this job. You find her unhappy, and moody. You label her as a control freak and a chauvinist. You fail to understand her. You fail to understand why she is disoriented with you.

An average Indian girl, married at a tender age, and sent far away from her parents to fend for herself. She doesn't see the world, and has no life to call her own. She dedicates her entire life to her family and spends some zillion hours in the kitchen. She seeks emotional attachment but never receives any. She lives a rather morose life yet fulfills every wish of her family members. She is the true star of her children and they dote on her. You find her sitting on a couch and wondering how she transitioned from a careless girl to a responsible woman.

An average Indian girl, you find her sitting on a comfy couch and watching a romantic comedy. You find tears rolling down her eyes the moment she sees Julia Roberts in distress. She often treats herself with a scoop or two of chocolate ice-cream. She loves drama, and you find her devouring all the books she could lay her hands on. She has mood swings, let me warn you. She splurges a lot on shopping and sometimes, lives in a denial.

An average Indian girl, deeply in love with her husband. She reminisces over all the memories of her college sweetheart (now her husband), their goof-ups, the secrets they hold, the honeymoon, and the first flush of their wedding. She is comical and dotes on her husband. She is the princess of his world and he reminds her that every moment. She believes in love and fairy tales. 

An average Indian girl, she goes around in a pair of denim shorts, black chipped nail paint, she listens to Punk rock, and holds a fancy camera in her hand. She looks at the world with her kohl filled eyes. She has a friend or two, and goes to a local place to have a drink occasionally. She writes a diary, and on odd days, she cries to sleep in the nights. She doesn't like discussing her trauma. She pretends!

An average Indian girl, she goes to the temple every Saturday and believes in God. She is feminine and beautiful. You find her day dreaming about her Prince Charming and she absolutely has no idea about her future. She smiles a lot and has a lot of friends. 

An average Indian girl, you find her in your vicinity, smiling at you, sharing an anecdote with you and laughing loudly. She is lively and she makes your life extremely delightful. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

I Hate You. I Am Not Playing Hard To Get!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, October 25, 2013 4 comments

It's astonishing how few men fail to understand that you plainly do not like them. Does it ever happen to you? You know you clearly tell a guy you don't even have a tiny iota of interest in him, and yet he fails to decipher that simple statement and labels you as a woman who is playing hard to get. Like, really?

Stop hallucinating. Seriously. If a woman likes you, why in the world would she play hard to get? She might definitely fool around for a day or two but months? No idiot will play hard to get for several months, okay? If a woman really likes you, she wouldn't want to waste much time fooling around you. She exactly wants the same thing that you want. I cannot fathom how men hallucinate SO much when it comes to this. I mean, yes, women whine a lot but they get accustomed to the reality sooner or later. But the creepy men? Well, they never do. How do you have so much patience to irk the poor woman in every possible way? 

It is a known fact that we all like people that we cannot get. For instance, my eternal love for Jude Law or Ian Somerhalder. (Fine, stop rolling your eyes, I'll shut my mouth.) Men, to be specific, find this typically challenging. Though, sometimes, women like to play the mind games. I admit. But not with everyone, alright? We play mind games with the men we like. And if we really like you, we will talk to you, even if we are busy, even if we are dreaming our guts out in that neverland, we will talk to you. It is as simple as that. If we are ignoring you, it just means that we are not interested in you. Dear men, you don't need a PhD in psychology to understand this, do you?

Sometimes, it is outright annoying to receive e-mails and messages from people whom you so badly want to ignore. It is creepy. I have zero tolerance levels and I cannot put up with this non-sense. Women totally do appreciate it when men like them. But you know, there is a saturation point for the appreciation too. At some point, we lose it. We wouldn't like to carry a crappy burden on ourselves for an eternity. And if you lack the basic understanding skills to acknowledge this, please go hang yourself. Also, congratulations! You are unfit for a relationship. If you fail to understand such a simple thing, you cannot understand the complicated things that come and fall flat on your face when you are in a relationship. It's ludicrous, isn't it?

Now, let me just repeat it again. I am not playing hard to get. I am just trying to get away from creepy men like you who plan their entire lives around women. What a shame! 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Let's Be Foolish!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 14, 2013 6 comments

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” 

People who have been reading my blog, and tweets sensed that I was going through a really stupid phase, and a lot of them sent me sweet emails and messages. One sweet girl sent me a book from my wishlist. I feel loved. Thank you so much!

Obnoxious and difficult. Two words that ideally describe me. You know there are millions of us who are strong and extremely stubborn when it comes to emotions. We do not compromise; we do not settle for anything less than what we deserve but at certain point, we totally break down. SO much that we are irrevocably lost in molasses of thoughts and give up on everything. Big mistake! I mean, why don't we realize that it is just a bad phase? Not a bad life.

We need to make our own mistakes. We need to learn our own lessons. Everywhere on the internet, in books and in virtual reality, you see people doling out advice. I do too. Never follow any of them. Someone will always ask you not to do the mistake they have done. Shut up, do not listen to them. Commit mistakes. In fact, make an avalanche of mistakes. Certainly, you are young and  imbecile and you can get away with being called a juvenile (We are in India. Juveniles are entitled to many privileges.) Cut yourself some slack, and do whatever you want to do. It is okay to be hurt. Don't be so hard on yourself. 

Also, this is something very important. Let relationships be relationships. Do not let them get to you. You know like do not make major sacrifices for them. Never. Remember what Lady Gaga said? “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” 
Leaving your job, career, college and go behind a guy? Not a cool thing. Surely, never commit this mistake. 

Be the leading lady in your life. Do not let someone control you, or your emotions. If someone doesn't respect you or makes you feel inferior, do yourself a favour, and kick them out of your life. Do not stay with anyone who snatches happiness away from you. You deserve something beautiful. Listening?

Be foolish. Get high. Hang out with friends. Go out with interesting people. Read good books. Read Murakami and Pablo Neruda. Take interest in linguistic activities. Eat out at good places. Take photographs. Listen to good music. Travel a lot. Spend your money on traveling. Even if the place is just around the corner. Love yourself. And make these memories a testament to your awesome life. 

Note to self: Live the Barney Stinson life. Not Ted Mosby's!

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

To Grandma, With Love!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, October 09, 2013 4 comments

A rainy evening drifted me into the memories of my childhood. If only my grandmother was there…she would have made me a cup of steaming coffee and sit beside me, knitting and touching my hair fondly.

I vividly remember the first vision of my Grandmother. I remember a beautiful woman getting down the train and I remember running into her arms and inhaling her wonderful scent. I remember how she stood by me and influenced my life.

Every summer, my cousins and I visited Calcutta to spend vacations with our grandparents. How enthusiastic we were to meet her for she stacked up the kids’ room with lovely presents and sweets and above everything, we loved her so much. 

As time flew, we never had much time to spend with her. We hardly spent a ten odd days with her and those were the days when I saw tears in her eyes when we parted. I could never fathom why a strong woman like her had tears in her eyes! Fortunately, I got to spend six months with her when I was in high school. Those were some of the best days of my life; those were the days when she cooked delicious food for me and bought me pretty clothes; those were the days when she sat on the stair-case of the house anticipating my return from college. Six months later, when we parted again, I saw her in tears. Again. This time, I cried too.

Engineering kept me even busier and we met for only five days a year. I missed her but my college life was demanding too. My grandmother always had a habit of being the first person to wish me on my birthday and examinations. It was my fifth semester’s first examination and she promised to call me after my exam. I waited for her call and I never received it because she had a cardiac arrest. I messed my examinations. But I had nothing else in my mind. I wanted to get done with the semester, and go meet her. I waited desperately for the last exam to end.

May 1st, 2011.

Finally, my exams ended and I left for Vizag. She was so happy to see me; she took my arms in hers and cried. I saw nothing but love and fear in her eyes. She wanted to be with us, she wanted to spend more time with her children and grand-children. She just wanted more time. 

Six months later, just when everything was fine, we received a call. The call that changed everything! The call that said she was no more; the call that still makes me tremble! We started immediately and the next morning, when I saw her frail body, I felt so helpless, standing there, looking at her and sobbing. I was devastated. I fervently hoped for all the time to come back…I fervently hoped that she would come back, hug me and narrate me all the stories of her childhood…I fervently hoped that she would come back and make me chuckle loud by cracking funny jokes.

And yet again, this birthday, I waited for her call—the call that would scream a cheerful ‘Happy Birthday’ in my sleepy ears. The call that was the starter of my Birthday for the past twenty-one years!

Monday, October 07, 2013

Five Dream Jobs! :D

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, October 07, 2013 7 comments

“My job is to scream cockle-doodle-doo. Don't blame me if the sun doesn't rise.” 

9-5 jobs! How many of us are already warming up to this idea? The famous myth says that 9-5 jobs kill creativity, wreck your social life, ruin your friendships and relationships. Well, it is a myth. At least, in my case. 

I digress.

So, we all have an image of these oh-so-perfect jobs in our mind and in many cases, the moolah doesn't matter. Right? Hey, I am talking about the 'not-very-ambitious, creativity is all' lot here. You invest bankers are doing just fabulous. I am talking about us, the non-serious, goofy people. 

On an unrelated note, I imagined eight dream jobs but I didn't want the post to be very lengthy (and boring). So, I cut them down to five. 


1) The Foodie: Seriously, how many of us have this on our list? I mean getting paid for eating food is the best job ever. Everytime I watch "Highway On My Plate" and "The Foodie" on the television, I cannot fathom why I don't find such stimulating (Yes, I used stimulating because I don't want to come across as a glutton. Idiocy, I know) jobs.

They don't just eat a lot. They get to travel a lot as well. Gee! 

2) Travel Writer: They say traveling is the only thing that makes you rich. Word! Travel writers have such wonderful experiences, don't they? They eat different cuisines, meet new people, listen to fascinating stories, take beautiful pictures, make the less fortunate one jealous, and like an icing on the cake, they get to write in beautiful locations. Awesome!

3) Book Reviewer: Imagine locking yourself up in a room full of wonderful books. Yay! Could there be a better job?

4) The Dreamer: Okay now, dreaming isn't a simple job, okay? It is a rather painful job to remember and recollect your dreams. Wouldn't it be lovely if we get paid for dreaming? I know, I know, it is SO Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. 

I would jump and scream in joy if my boss says, "Sleep for the whole month, dream, send me a report of your dreams, and you'll get paid.

What can I say? He would be the best boss ever, my friend.

5) Movie Critic: If there is one job where money wouldn't really matter to me, it is this. I would watch four movies and a few episodes from a sitcom everyday and a lot more for this job. (Does this sound like a career objective in a C.V? Oops!) 

This, indeed, is a dream job. Call me a stereotype, but I would watch Indian movies and only those movies starring Jude Law (Say, a current obsession? It will wear off in a week.)

Like Confucius said, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life", I will shed tears of joy if I do any of these jobs. 
Oh, I actually have three more dream jobs. But I will come up with another post soon. 

So, what are your dream jobs? 

Friday, October 04, 2013

Oh, I'm Doing SO Great!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, October 04, 2013 6 comments

“That's how it is with relationships, it's a part of life, and all the great love songs and poems and films have been written by people who were standing where I was that morning as Simon shut the door. Doesn't make it any easier though. ” 

Alright, so a week ago, I was talking to my friend about break-ups and decided I should write a post on this. We were talking about break-ups and its repercussions, the changes we see in ourselves, and the things we do. Some very surprising ones, and some really mundane ones. I know it is a phase of a life and all of us kind of go through it. I know, I get the drift but some people somehow just amaze me with their stupidity. Like, the ways they choose to help you to move on (or) not. Oops!

People, even some friends try to get this sadistic pleasure out of your break-ups. I mean, definitely, what fun! Googly! I mean, you are practically sitting in a corner of your ever so messy room and crying your guts out, turning your cushions damp and all that, your friend comes to you and says "Stop crying. You deserve better. Be glad that is over. She was a piece of shit." Really? That is the most condescending thing ever, guys. STOP DOING THAT. You don't decide who the person really deserves. Whoever it is. It is for the person to decide. You deserve better is the most overrated statement unless the person you are/were dating is a nincompoop. Still, your friend decides if the person is a nincompoop or awesome. So, let them be.

There are people who constantly text "How are you", "Feeling any good, lately?" and it makes me go WHAAAAAAAAT? I mean how do you want the person to respond? "Oh, I am doing SO great. So great that I have been watching Dexter all over again and the finale made me go so emotional that I cried I would miss the Morgans?" Or should the person respond "Wow! I am going through a break-up. Clearly. The enchanting patterns you see there on the white cushion are actually my mascara marks moistened with my tears and all that and still you are asking me if I am feeling better? Wow."

I have come across people who say that it is high time you move on. Of course, your sulking period has reached the saturation point and the people who aren't even going through what you are going through are the ones who decide how you should plan your sulking period. And when you should end it. Like it is some fasting period. Super! No offense, guys. But it is really annoying. You are doing more harm that help. 

A year ago, my friend was going through a horrible break up, and in order to help her to move on, her cousin told her explicit things about what happens to people when they break up, and the kind of places they end up. Thanks to him, she slipped into depression for many months. Her cousin was obviously mad. Instead of letting her be, he chose stupidity over silence and messed her head up. Sweet!

Okay. Take a deep breath. You, my friend, are not helping your friend to move on. You are plainly screwing their head and feeding them nonsensical matter. You are being judgmental, hypocritical, and perhaps, brutal? Break-ups are shitty. We are all wired in a different way, and rationally, we all react to different things in a different way. Hey, I don't react to things just the way you do. Also, during this phase, we try to find comfort in several things. We try to. Some good, some bad. There is nothing shallow about it and we don't have to be ashamed about it. First rule, there is nothing shallow about finding comfort in something. It might be bad for you. Not for us. At the end of the day, people want to be happy. Let them be happy. And once they are out of the oh-let-me-sit-and-sulk period, they would not do anything lethal.

Sometimes, ice-cream and Grey's Anatomy aren't enough. You need people. To listen to your trauma. People who don't judge you. People who support you. And we learn from our own mistakes. We don't have to be guided. No, thanks. 

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