Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Let's Get Over The Fairness Fad, Already?

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 17, 2013 8 comments

"Interesting that a country that gives so much sale to fairness creams is calling Americans racists."
-The Bad Doctor (On Twitter)

In a country where fair-skinned people are considered to be good-looking is a common dogma, it is indeed a commendable thing that Nina Davuluri (Though she was born and raised in the U.S.) won Miss Syracuse and then Miss America 2014 now. It gave me a colossal joy when my father barged into my room to give me in the news early in the morning. "Mana Vijayawada ammayi Miss America aindi." (A girl from Vijayawada is crowned to be Miss America.) Later, I heard many opinions, some very debatable ones. Truth be told, if Nina contested from our country, she would not have had this opportunity. Let's be very honest with ourselves. Our Indian sub-continent is majorly obsessed with the fair-skin. We are SO badly stuck in that frame of reference and sadly, we refuse to change. Well, who can help it?

How many of us remember the really condescending "Fair & Lovely" advertisements? For a moment, let us stop calling the West as the racists, and deal with our own flaws, shall we? Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, the very famous Fair & Lovely advertisements. Yes, the same advertisements where the dark women get rejected by the men and fail to attract partners, they use Fair & Lovely, and voila! They turn into marriage material. Super! And much to my chagrin, there were people and to be precise, parents who forced Fair & Lovely, Fairever and whatever on their daughters. And still are. I know, very strange!

It is quite surprising that even celebrities promote fairness creams. Shahrukh Khan's Fair & Handsome for instance? Very disappointing! This fad doesn't just end here. We segregate people based on communities, states, religions etc. Like you know, she belongs to that community, and people in that community are supposed to be bewitching. I mean, of course, they had the secret potion of Aphrodite. It is self-explanatory, nay?

There was a period in India when young women used bleach, random fairness creams promising exquisite fairness and glow, and going around beauty salons in order to turn fair. I mean, really? This is your skin colour and you cannot do anything to turn ten shades lighter, alright? Unless, you want to get it done like Michael Jackson then, you my friend, can be my guest. The fairness fetish has its own catastrophes too. In the long run, bleach and all those fairness promising creams damage your skin. We know this yet we want to be complacent with the present state of being fair. Stop being stupid. Yes, you!

Nandita Das, who supports "Dark Is Beautiful" campaign is a wonderful woman and I am not sure if I have ever come across anyone more beautiful than her. She is an inspiration. I'd like you all to watch this video where she talks about this:

Beauty is a myth. Everyone is beautiful. Your colour doesn't decide your beauty. Do not be a victim of this ridiculous delusion. On a serious note, let us stop being such blockheads. The people whom you don't consider charming are the ones who are recognized internationally and create a niche for themselves. It is high time we all change.

And oh, let's get over this fairness fad, shall we?

It Is Not A Love-story!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 17, 2013 2 comments

She sat cross-legged on the couch. He sat on the bean bag.

"So what's the deal?" He asked.

"No way. I am not letting you into the excerpts of my diary." She almost yelled at him.

"Oh come on, I've read a part of it anyway. Be a sport and tell me. Who's The One? I won't laugh. I promise."

"Please. No."

"I insist. Please."

"Ugh, okay, promise me you won't laugh. Truth be told, I haven't met him yet. He is just fictional. But he is The One. And that's what I want."

"Whatever. Let's just get with it now."

"Okay, okay. Umm, so, yes, William Darcy like. Neat. Eddie Vedder follower. A perfect relationship. So Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant-ish. First kiss under the stars. Long drives in the rain. Keats poetry. Basketball champion and...."

"Hahahahahaha. Stop right there. A guy like that wouldn't exist. Even if he did, I am sure he would be nothing less than lame. And just for the record, basketball and Darcy don't go together."

"They do. They so do. In my world."

"Yes, your world is fictitious and LAME. Let me get back to my football now. Give me the remote control. I have wasted enough time already." 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Identity-All That Matters!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Saturday, September 14, 2013 4 comments

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Throne"

I sit cross-legged on my bed and think of various things. The first thing that comes to my head is a message from a blog reader who wanted to talk about the woes of her relationship. That lovely lady, who is extremely successful couldn't think rationally. A moment of despair. It happens with all of us.

So, her message made me regard few things carefully. We tend to behave illogically when we are vulnerable, of course. But what she told me was an entirely different thing altogether. She didn't act insane, yell or cry. She thought things would have been easier if she was someone else. She said she was ashamed of her identity. Now, that made me uneasy. A moment of despair, I still reckon. If you say it is completely natural to change a person's identity and to want to be someone else altogether to win someone's approval, I would ask you to think twice. Does it really matter? Yes, it does. At the end of the day, your identity is the only thing that matters.

Practically, it defines you.

There are many of us who change our personalities for someone, for someone to like us, approve our very existence, and the metaphors. I mean, really? I know "If someone likes you, they'll accept you just the way you are." "You don't have to change yourself. You are what you are." are very old school thoughts but we are still using them because they still hold the same importance. They haven't turned obsolete.

You are what you are. Love yourself and everything falls into place. Do not, even for a moment, change your identity for someone else. Do anything. Just anything. But don't change what you are because believe me, the person in question liked you for what you are and not for a probable reason that you might change in future. Though I find YOLO the stupidest thing ever, I don't see a point in a living a life waiting for someone's validation because you live only once. Like Stephen Chbosky says in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, "I would die for you but I won't live for you.

Good morning!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Let Geminis be Geminis! :D

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, September 10, 2013 6 comments

"I'm a Gemini, so I change my mind everyday."
-Natalie Portman

Lately, I have started observing the traits of people belonging to different sun-signs. Of course, things have been getting so weird in my life that for a while, I was convinced it is the sun-sign. Say, the fault in our stars! There were times when I assumed Geminis stick into more trouble than Leos or Libras. I checked out few Geminis around me, sadly, there weren't many, and felt they were in a similar situation. The muddle, the dire straits, and the unnecessary heartaches. On a serious note, this is utter nonsense. My brains didn't just go to the dogs but even the dogs discarded them. Everyone around me had tribulations. The fault in the stars in SO mainstream. And oh yes, over-rated. Or, may be, I don't know. I am just not sure.

Truth be told, my confusion about the stars isn't the plan of this post. Like I said, I have been observing people. I have been closely following Gemini traits, famous personalities, habits, and the metaphors. Though some of the facts and tales have acted as a fine catalyst for my ego boost, some of them have been mean. Devious and mean. I mean, we have been categorized as the Ram Gopal Varma of the sun-signs. I shall be happy for I really like Ram Gopal Varma. You know like you can love or hate Geminis, but you simply cannot ignore them. 

Myth: Geminis are vagrant. They are the most unstable people ever.
Truth: How in the world is this even valid? Anyone could be unstable. It is not a Gemini trait.

Myth: Owing to the twins, Gemini love to spice up their romantic life with a tinge of variety.
Truth: I mean, seriously, who is writing all this?

Myth: Geminis have a strong ethical code.
Truth: Didn't you just call us vagrant?

Myth: Geminis can be possessive or jealous over their loved ones but don't show it.
Truth: You got to be kidding me. Please.

Myth: Text a Gemini first. They'll love it.
Truth: No, thanks. We don't!

Myth: Geminis are always on the go. That's why it's hard for them to pick up the phone.
Truth: Duh! I am on phone all the time. It is like I am always on phone and not on the go.

Myth: Geminis make sure that an impossible relationship also works.
Truth: You wish, my love, you wish!

Myth: Geminis want world peace.
Truth: Ugh, I don't know how to answer that one. Of course, who wouldn't want that but I am not sure if we have a specific opinion on that. At least, I don't.

Myth: Geminis think a lot..but don't say much.
Truth: Says who? I think a lot, spice it up and say a lot.

On a serious note, this is not us. Let me tell you how a Gemini functions. (It is a vague attempt. Come on, now stop rolling your eyes.) 

Geminis are so full of themselves. Yes, we are selfish, and self obsessed. Sometimes, to the point of vanity. I agree. Sarcasm and sweetness come in a mixed bag. Or ugh, is it sugar-coated sarcasm? Could be! While we could be self obsessed and all that, we go take an extra mile and do things if we like someone. We are moody and don't mingle with everyone. We get turned off very easily and honestly, it is a herculean task to please us. Sometimes, it is hard to decipher our feelings, but we are Geminis and that is how we roll. Hey, Geminis could be nice and all that, just stop pointing out just the mean and devious things. Let Geminis be Geminis!

Anyway, you know what? There are and have been some really awesome Gemini celebrities-Johnny Depp (Ooh!), Marilyn Monroe, Morgan Freeman (Gemini! Ha!), Angelina Jolie, Macklemore, Paul McCartney.

Okay, I am done bragging. Ciao!

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Nice Guys Finish Last (The Scary Friend Zone!)

By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, September 04, 2013 12 comments
"Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the "nice guys" are. They're in the friend zone, where you left them."
-Barney Stinson

I assume more than 90% of the men freak out at the very concept of friend zone. The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend, and somehow, the discussion about math seamlessly drifted towards friend zone, and how nicely he has been friend zoned. The idiot! So, he tells me the not-so-famous tale of it and how he managed to sail in it for seven long months. Though I found it extremely funny initially, I had to take it seriously later because oh boy, he was sulking. He asked me to write a post on it.

It is not just men who are stuck in this pitfall, there are women as well. While things like "I wish my boy-friend was like you", "I wish my girl-friend was as amazing as you", "You were there when I had no one else" sound like a sweet symphony to your ears, just, for once, understand the fact that those are the only things you shall hear, my friend. Because you don't act. Hence, you don't get the real deal. You get only the drama. That is what happened to my friend there. But I don't want to blame the girl. No. I'd rather blame my friend who had been an idiot oblivious to not just the world around him, but to common sense as well.

I mean, really? Do we have to be told specifically, "Dude! You are being friend-zoned?" Whatever happened to your brains? Whatever happened to the alarming bells in the back of your head? 

Anyway, I do not understand this very concept of friend-zone. You have friends, you have these sweet, adorable friends who dote on you and listen to all your trauma and put up with your nonsensical drama. (Oh, my friends do!) Why do you need to friend zone a poor kid who would be in a hackneyed state. Forever. Believe me. They don't even understand why you dole out all the sweetness on them and leave them in a perturbed position when you find someone new. Oh, that someone who doesn't treat you right! They don't understand what to do, and how to take it. Finally, after a couple of beers and some valid advice from a nice friend (Read me. Gee!), they try and move on. But of course, they were meant to get into a muddle of thrash again and hence, they do. It is ludicrous, isn't it? We people never learn from our mistakes. Especially when it comes to relationships, we want to fall flat, get up, giddy up, and fall all over again.

Some of these situations are amusing. Very amusing. I cannot fathom how in the world my friends manage to wiggle into this zone and yes, come out of the quagmire successfully to go into another one. Super! After all, life was meant to be a back-breaker for them.

Like Stephen Chbosky mentioned in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. We might be egotistic and despicable, but we lose our pride and do all that we could for the one we love and frankly, we are just wasting it on a person who doesn't deserve it. Even a tiny bit. Doesn't a voice in your head beat some sense into you, "Did you do this to yourself all over again?"

So, when my friend asked me to write this post on him, I wondered if I really could because not many of my friends have experienced this and my idea on this is pretty slim and now that I look at this post, I see that it was a really bad idea to write one. 

Tell me, do nice guys really finish last? Or is it just an illusion?

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