This Is How You Raise Your Son!

This post is inspired from Thought Catalog's "10 Controversial Ways I Plan On Raising My Daughter." The moment I read it, I knew I had to write something similar.

People, or to be more precise, Indians are very concerned about how a girl child should be raised. You know there are a set of restrictions, and some really weird godforsaken rules that are passed on from the ancestors. Some rules are just beyond our comprehension. But I wonder why boys do not have to go through this major structure in their childhood. They are a little lucky. 

I know I am an amateur at this subject, and oh, I have no knowledge at all in this section but I really think it would be great if boys are raised up like this. (Some of the rules apply to girls too.)

1. Teach him. Teach him to respect people, and their ideas irrespective of the age. He must be able to respect people younger than him. Teach him to respect the right things. It does not really matter if the person who commits a mistake is older than him, he should be able to respect the right things only.

2. Art should be a major part of his childhood. Men who take interest in art tend to be smarter than the men who don't. They tend to be more considerate too.

Read to him in the night. Make him paint. Send him to music classes. 

Make a note that art and education should go together. 

3. Have you noticed that most of the men look for the qualities of their mother in a girl they like? It is impossible. Teach them that it is stupid. Your mother and the girl you like are two different people. No one can replace your mother. Teach them that from a very tender age.

This way they will not have any expectations.

4. Raise him without a religion, or a faith. You have been a religious chauvinist, and you know it. Do not let it get to him too. 

Give him the freedom to make his choices right from the childhood. 

5. It is okay if he fails and makes mistakes. Do not admonish him for that. 

It is alright if he scores 80%. Not everyone is meant to score 90%. In the process of abusing him for his performance at school, you are letting a 'Mozart in the making' slip away.

6. There is more to a girl than her looks, and her body. Teach him to respect women. 

This world has enough sexists already. We do not need more of them.

7. Do you find it strange that an individual changes massively after he turns into a parent? Of course, he takes up more responsibilities, and all that. But do you also realize that he turns into a selfish human being? He expects his child (boys and girls) to do everything as he wants. 

Give a break, people. They join the school, college, and an organization of your choice. You choose their friends and the person they are supposed to spend an eternity with. You choose their car, their house, its interiors and basically, everything. Why, just why do that? What is the point in raising a child when you intend to snatch their freedom from their hands when they turn 22-23? Don't you realize that you are turning your child into your replica? 

Seriously, it is not a cool thing. It is high time parents realize this.

Apart from this, we love our parents for all that they do for us. No offence.

8. It is too much for us to handle the male ego. 

Parents should raise a kid with the right amount of self esteem. Not ego.

You have male zeta ego? Good for you! Do not thrust it on others. 

9. Ask him to document his life. Give him a camera and a journal. Ask him to make memories and maintain a note of every tiny detail. Even the bad ones.

10. Travel a lot. Take him to different places. Meet different people. Introduce him to different cultures. Let him know the world. Just let him experience different things.

Let's Get Over The Fairness Fad, Already?

"Interesting that a country that gives so much sale to fairness creams is calling Americans racists."

-The Bad Doctor (On Twitter)

In a country where fair-skinned people are considered to be good-looking is a common dogma, it is indeed a commendable thing that Nina Davuluri (Though she was born and raised in the U.S.) won Miss Syracuse and then Miss America 2014 now. It gave me a colossal joy when my father barged into my room to give me in the news early in the morning. "Mana Vijayawada ammayi Miss America aindi." (A girl from Vijayawada is crowned to be Miss America.) Later, I heard many opinions, some very debatable ones. Truth be told, if Nina contested from our country, she would not have had this opportunity. Let's be very honest with ourselves. Our Indian sub-continent is majorly obsessed with the fair-skin. We are SO badly stuck in that frame of reference and sadly, we refuse to change. Well, who can help it?

How many of us remember the really condescending "Fair & Lovely" advertisements? For a moment, let us stop calling the West as the racists, and deal with our own flaws, shall we? Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, the very famous Fair & Lovely advertisements. Yes, the same advertisements where the dark women get rejected by the men and fail to attract partners, they use Fair & Lovely, and voila! They turn into marriage material. Super! And much to my chagrin, there were people and to be precise, parents who forced Fair & Lovely, Fairever and whatever on their daughters. And still are. I know, very strange!

It is quite surprising that even celebrities promote fairness creams. Shahrukh Khan's Fair & Handsome for instance? Very disappointing! This fad doesn't just end here. We segregate people based on communities, states, religions etc. Like you know, she belongs to that community, and people in that community are supposed to be bewitching. I mean, of course, they had the secret potion of Aphrodite. It is self-explanatory, nay?

There was a period in India when young women used bleach, random fairness creams promising exquisite fairness and glow, and going around beauty salons in order to turn fair. I mean, really? This is your skin colour and you cannot do anything to turn ten shades lighter, alright? Unless, you want to get it done like Michael Jackson then, you my friend, can be my guest. The fairness fetish has its own catastrophes too. In the long run, bleach and all those fairness promising creams damage your skin. We know this yet we want to be complacent with the present state of being fair. Stop being stupid. Yes, you!

Nandita Das, who supports "Dark Is Beautiful" campaign is a wonderful woman and I am not sure if I have ever come across anyone more beautiful than her. She is an inspiration. I'd like you all to watch this video where she talks about this:

Nandita Das Talks About Dark Is Beautiful

Beauty is a myth. Everyone is beautiful. Your colour doesn't decide your beauty. Do not be a victim of this ridiculous delusion. On a serious note, let us stop being such blockheads. The people whom you don't consider charming are the ones who are recognized internationally and create a niche for themselves. It is high time we all change.

And oh, let's get over this fairness fad, shall we?