Thursday, November 28, 2013

What Happens When You Date A Writer!

By Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, November 28, 2013 26 comments

“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. … It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.”
—Enid Bagnold

Have you ever wondered how it feels to date a writer? Fall in love so irrevocably it feels like a redemption from your rather insipid past?

When you are dating a writer, you might feel like you are with a person who is suffering with a multiple personality disorder. You can never predict what's going on in his head. Is it about the latest article that he has read or the insecurity he is experiencing about a fellow writer?

Dating a writer comes with its own pros and cons. You put up with his mood swings, his whims and caprices, and even when you feel like an outcast at times, you long for more. If a writer takes you into his life completely, he will write about you, everything about you. He will scandalize your lives. Your life becomes an open book and you find people criticizing your life. Very often! You can never escape that. A writer immortalizes you with every word. If you don't matter, he will never write about you. He is an emotional, aggressive, and a constructive lover. He loves you for all that you are but never forgets the blunders you make. They are forever engraved in his mind.

A writer is delusional. Many a time, you find yourself awake at wee hours of night exchanging tales about his day and the people he has met. You find him curling into a ball, wiping his tears when a book has a dramatic ending. You find him self absorbed, and you cannot fathom why you are so connected yet disconnected with this man whose days begin and end with words. And not you.

When you date a writer, you are up to date with all the happenings and affairs of the world. You share your tales with him, he will lend his ear amicably, and correct you often. It is for your own good, he says. Nobody's perfect at Grammar, he says. Yet you find him chastising you for not knowing the difference between your and you're. On rare nights, you see him consuming copious amounts of coffee, editing an article. Hold his arm, read his lines out, and give an honest opinion. But do not try to be an editor.

A writer may go into his cocoon but he will love you like no other. He will make love to you passionately and introduce you to the enchanting world of Pablo Neruda and Jean Paul Sartre. He is possessive and wouldn't let you be a part of another story. You belong with him and you know it.  

You find him easily disturbed even over the nitty gritty bits of a book. You call him demented. He laughs it away. There are moments when you wish you had a simple life like others. You want to run away from his nasty temper, yet find yourself enticed by his mysterious nature. He has an air of arrogance around him. You fancy it. Admit it!

"Why do you like that writer better than me? He is a misogynist." He runs his brown eyes over your lovely face, hoping for an earnest response.

You find yourself maundering. How can you possibly fight with your man for a writer who was dead decades ago. You smile. You fall for his tender childlike nature. He is on par with an infant when it comes to emotions. You take him into your arms and tell him how good a writer he is, softly appreciating his flair at weaving stories.

When a writer really loves you, he will show you his vulnerable side. For a moment, he will dismiss his wits, and take you into world that he proudly calls his kingdom -- a place where you truly belong. A place where he sits with a Hemingway's book on a worn out couch. He will never let go of you. You might let go of him, and drift away from him. But he will always remember you as a story that was left unfinished, and trust me, he will forever yearn for an ending for a writer believes in endings. Even if it is a tragic one.

His pen will ache for an ending. Always.


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