“You raze the
old to raise the new.”
2014 has been quite
unpredictable, and on many occasions, it was disappointing and excruciating
too. No matter what I say, it has been a great learning experience, but I wish
to go on a holiday from the grand learning experience.
I am not sure if I have anything
much to say, but I just do not want to break the ritual of writing the end of the year post.
1) As you all know, I was a
corporate slave, doing things I hated and absolutely did not care for. When my
manager said I was not good enough, I am glad I paid attention to it. I moved
on to a job I cared in the pursuit of creating something beautiful instead of
trying to get myself into another corporate rut.
2) It does not come as a surprise
to me when I say there are very few
friends with whom you can pick where you left. I am glad I have them, and I
would not go overboard to say I love them, but I am almost there.
These people have stood by my
side all the time. Though they were royally absent in my happiness, they never
gave up on me in my distress.
3) The best way to know if you can trust someone is by trusting them. If you are willing to put your trust in them, I am sure they are worth the effort.
4) If not for reading and
writing, I would not even be half the person I am.
The sorcery of words, beauty of
letting you dive into a whole new world, introducing people of different
ideologies and tastes are amazing.
Perhaps the beauty of emotions is
always spoiled when I try to talk about them. But when I write them, they sound
surreal. But real!
5) I've lost and let go off too
many people this year. You can take my word for it-I have made peace with myself by forgiving them.
But it does not mean the broken
things can be repaired. Not yet.
6) There is this one person who has the
ability to bring out the best and the worst in me, bringing out the child in
me, making me do things I probably never imagined, saying things I would not
even dare to say in the wildest of my dreams.
This person is not the sunshine
to my life. Oh no, definitely not! But it sure feels like sunshine when this
person is around me.
And even when I claim not to
throw tantrums with this person, I always do. I know it, but I argue otherwise.
7) There is really no antidote to
pain and loss.
But red velvet cupcakes and
tiramisu take care of the pain. Temporarily!
8) When you really like someone,
it does not even matter what you are going through or willing to go through for
them.
9) Solitude and silence are beautiful beyond imagination. Living all by myself on the days my parents are away, cooking for myself, cleaning my space, and reading, ah! Needless to say, the best things always come in tiny packages.
10) Over the last 6 months, I set
a record of wearing just black. Mostly! My mother is wondering if I am wearing
the same outfit every day, and my colleague keeps asking me if I'd ever get
bored of it.
I think I should buy some colours
the next year. My mourning outfits need to go on a break.
11) I have turned into a bigger
caffeine addict. I am trying to cut down but I think I would fail. Miserably!
12) I have made some real time
investments this year. I am a little proud of myself.
13) I sold my first story. More
details soon.
14) I have lost the interest in making conversations, and I am
hoping it would turn into a lost art.
15) While writing, you always need a good editor. An editor who can edit your work relentlessly, calling it a piece of trash, and sit for long hours with you, trying to beat sense in your slightly delusional mind, by correcting your grammar and replacing mundane words with graceful ones. You need this editor to read out Abbe Prevost or Proust to you.
Phew! I had a tough time listing
out these things, and most of them do not make any sense. But this year has
just been tumultuous, you know?
As I close my eyes, I can now remember the good things--reuniting with lost friends, rekindling forgotten
emotions, meeting your teacher and the first editor who inspired you to do
something beautiful, late night conversations, sleepovers, writing my first
Haiku poem, meeting fabulous people, discovering great musicians, painters and
writers, looking at this person eating ice-cream like a child, embracing
friendships that are beyond geographical restrictions, writing more than ever,
turning into a braver person, earning the ability of expressing what I like and
what I do not, not putting up with people who harm me, and pushing myself to work
for the things that matter.
I have always loved myself above
everything, and I will always. That is a promise!
To everyone who has been a part
of my life and this post this year, thank you. For contributing bits and pieces
of your life into mine! You add stars to my memories.
Here's to growing older, flying time, wasted nights, haunting dark circles, beautiful memories, smiles and
laughter, broken promises, words and conversations, love and a lot like it. Happy 2015!
And now 2015, can you just grow
my bangs already? I feel like a goof with this haircut.
