The Common Misconceptions About South Indians

I am a south Indian.

It has been over 22 years since I was born and still, I haven't been able to decipher why we are stereotyped so much. It sure is beyond my comprehension. We, South Indians, as a fraternity have always contributed a lot to the massive jokes and puns, the famous Rajnikanth jokes, our accent, our dressing style and the metaphors. I mean, seriously, what have we done? Let us take a closer look at the most common misconceptions. (Pun Intended)

When we say South India, it means the entire South India. South India does not just have Tamilnadu. It has Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Kerala, and Tamilnadu. And we do not just converse in Tamil, you see, we have other languages like Telugu, Kannada, Malayalam as well. Whoever said we have a huge mother tongue influence (aka MTI) on our accent really needs a reality check. Not everyone down here has an MTI, okay? We happen to speak perfectly normal English and some of us have embraced the big daddy stages of TED Talks, INK Talks, and have reached the pinnacles of oration and stuff. And even if we have an accent, what is the big deal? The basic point here is people are able to decipher our speech and that is all that matters, isn’t it? Hello people, is anyone listening?

Idli happens to be very famous here but no, we don’t eat it every day. We do have rotis, puris, poha, and the continental breakfast as well. And oh, please do spare us the trauma. We do eat normal food like the normal people, you know. Do you find it strange that we, South Indians try out all the cuisines and Hyderabad, Bangalore happens to be one of the very, very few metropolitans that have a wide range of restaurants with different cuisines and some unheard of? We have mojitos, cocktails, and mocktails as well. Being a South Indian does not mean we are just confined to coconut water only. I know, what a shame!

We have these really weird surnames, I get it. My surname happens to be very North Indian-ish but I am a South Indian, and what is it with that expression of shock on your face? Ever since I joined school, I had a tough time explaining my peers that I am a South Indian. Whenever people say, “Aila! You speak such fluent Telugu”, I lose it, and I put on a poker face and retort, “Yes, astonishing, right? We are in the age where people need to take a crash course for speaking fluently in their Mother Tongue.” Cut us some slack, people. We don't just have the Swamis, Jagarlamudis, Murthis, Menons and the like, we do have the occasional twisted surnames too (Like mine). Have you ever come across the phrase “What’s in a name?” If you have, please do stand by it. If you haven't, please learn it. Oh, thank you very much for doing us the favour! *Tears of joy*

South Indian women have better things to do than applying hair oil and putting on jasmine flowers. No, really. South Indian women are very ambitious, creative, and no, they do not watch soap operas all the time. In fact, we of the people, do not watch the K-serials at all (Are they even being aired anymore?). We happen to watch Suits, How I Met Your Mother, Game of Thrones, The Big Bang Theory, Community, House etc. And we do understand the difference between rock music and pop music. Also, we definitely know the difference between American Literature and English Literature. Yes, we do!

South Indian women are dark and ugly! Say what? I mean, really? Dark and ugly? You, stereotypes could have done a lot better here. South Indians are unconventionally beautiful. I mean, whatever happened to Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Vijayanthimala, Sridevi, Hema Malini, and Rekha etc. Ironically, the world’s most beautiful woman (Once upon a time but still), Aishwarya Rai happens to be a South Indian. We really need to get over the fair-skinned-women-are-the-prettiest fad. It is high time.

South Indian movies are pointless! Exactly, and that is the very reason the scripts of our movies are bought for some billions and remade into brand new movies every single year. Movie directors like Maniratnam, Jandhyala, and Bapu have created a niche for themselves in Indian Cinema, and are worshipped internationally. South India surely has some of the best technicians, and no, no, our music does not happen to be the Carnatic music only. Our music just has a strong influence of classical music and it happens to be soothing. Do think twice before judging our music because we have A.R. Rahman, Ilayaraja and the latest fad, Anirudh Ravichandran.

Yes, we are conservative and narrow-minded, but stereotyping us makes others narrow minded as well. Oops, isn't it?

We are obsessed with Engineering! For once, you have hit the bull’s eye. We are obsessed with Engineering and it just does not end here, we are supposed to do our masters from an Ivy League university. In few cases, we do our Ph.D. from the Ivy Leagues. That is when our education is complete. (Am I rubbing it in? *Sadistic grin*)

On a serious note, it would be wonderful if we stop stereotyping each other and love our country instead of our regions. South India, North India, East India, West India, and phew, Central India come together to be known as India. No country is perfect, ours isn’t either. But we can leave out our petty differences behind. Isn’t it?

DISCLAIMER: This is just a funny dig at our system, and we, South Indians do not hold any grudge against anyone. Ah, we love the attention we get. Yes, we love the element of drama in our lives.

The Ten Types Of People You Will See In Any Office

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I've never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.” 
― Jarod Kintz

Alright, even before I start diving into this subject, I'd like to announce an epic love for my work place. Publicly. All across the globe, I see my friends plodding their way through tedious schedules, and weird corporate honchos, while I am having a great time. Not all the time. But, yes, most of the time. I end up reaching home long before all my friends even start compiling their day's work. Thanks to Amazon, I have a social life and have enough time to work on my hobbies. 

Oh boy, am I deriving some sadistic pleasure by actually saying this? Well, I am.

Anyway, I walk into the office and see several people trying to start their day. Some different, some great, some wonderful, some creepy. I notice. I observe and now, I want to talk about the ten types of people we find in every organization.

1. The Make-up-holics: You walk into the washroom and you practically see some girls putting on so much make-up all the time, and giving a touch up once in a microsecond that you wonder what they actually do at home. No, seriously! 

Obama runs a country and has enough time to take selfies and post them on a public forum. Tell me, what are you doing that you have no time to comb your hair, and all the other things at home? Tell me, I am curious.

2. The Gossip mongers: These guys know it all. Ask them about anyone, anything, they will tell you first rate news about it. They are like my ticker tape. 

3. Oh so stoned: You walk into the office on one of those languid days with droopy eyes. You don't know what you are even doing with your life and see a bunch of people acting retarded. They make your day, you smile and wonder why they are so cheerful all the time. Nevermind, they are just stoned.

Hence, the bliss!

4. The Loud heads: I wish I could be diplomatic and say that I have no problem with these people. But I do. In fact, every sensible person has.

This set of people has to be loud in everything they do. I get it, you guys are too cool for us and want to show off your awesomeness (err) to everyone. But may I say that we do not give two hoots for your drama?

Stop being so loud. You work in an office. Not a school. And umm, if it isn't much of a trouble, would you also care to grow up?

5. The Isolated Man: I am scared. One look at them, and I know I am scared. They practically put on a grumpy face all the time. Did I steal your candy as a kid, tell me? 

Mom, I feel hated. They want to be angry at me all the time.

6. The Geeks: Aren't these guys the most loved people in any organization? They mind their own work and the little time you spend with them is great. They know their business and it is great to be with people who know their work.

Also, this set is my personal favourite. Ask them anything about technology, work, and the like, they know it all. They are forever ready to help you out. 

They are awesome. You know it.

7. The Storytellers: We get it, we get it. You are leading a fantastic life, you are happening everywhere you go and our lives are pretty much drab. 

These people have to narrate everything in such a fashion that any conversation with them takes an eternity. They have this inane urge to know everything.

They are so annoying that I wish I could faint when they start a conversation.

8. The Nap-sters: You remember how much fun it was to sleep in college? I mean, the lecturer would start talking about Trigonometry and you find your friend yawning. Literally. (I love Trigonometry.) The very concept of drifting into the slumberland has evolved from classroom benches to cozy office chairs. 

Wouldn't we just love "Everyone should go to sleep" day at work? (Secretly hoping that my boss would never read this. Tee hee!)

9. The Couples: Such love. Much affection. So happy. Wow, just wow!

10. Did you say food?: Lunch. Lunch. Lunch.

Who doesn't love food? Everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone wants to take their lunch break and talk about how they survived that long day.

Disclaimer: You know I am always condescending. If you belong to one of these categories, don't pick a fight with me at work tomorrow. 

Women-The Famous Drama!

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” 

― Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

You know how much I love this quote? I mean, I sort of consider it as a holy line whenever I do things that I am not really proud of. Like seriously, we do not have to be well behaved all the time, do we?

I digress.

Alright, I know I have been passing quite disdainful remarks about men and their haughty nature and whoa, quite a female attention my blog grabbed there but we all know the famous, old school quote that says no one is perfect. It pretty much speaks for this post. 

(This post is majorly about the common mistakes that I do in massive amounts. Some of you ladies are pretty wonderful and come without any drama and all that. I wonder how. But yes, I hope you don't find this post condescending. Cheers!)

Women are complicated. I accept it. Honestly, there are times when I wonder why we do few things. But we are women. And that is how we are. We act without using our brains. Ah, now that is where men earn brownie points because women are world class experts at acting without thinking. We have created a niche for ourselves in that sector and boy, men can never beat us there. Ha!

Let us dive deep. Women are wonderful, amazing, pretty mothers, sweet sisters, lovable partners and all that. But we are outrageous. We surely do understand herculean issues easily and take it in own stride but the petty issues are never forgotten. Never! Our drama is epic. Of course, it is pointless and baseless as ever. Still, it is epic.

The other day, I had a nasty fight with my friend and I bashed him badly. It didn't end there. He knocked some sense into my head and I got the taste of my own medicine. For instance, I am an obnoxious (Thank you) idiot and the things I do depend on my mood. I might love you a lot but if my mood is not okay, well, I am a neurotic person let out on loose and if my mood is okay, I am my adorable self. . 

There are moments when people are extremely busy and they might not have time for us. Women don't take it very easily. We build several stories and create a plot in our head which is ouch, miserable. Why do we this? But we are women, and that is how we are.

We take Dr. Suess tad too bit seriously. On a serious note, it does not work out this way most of the times. I fathom why! 

There are moments when everything is just so outright positive and we crave for imperfection. When there is an imperfection, we pine for perfection. One moment, when we are sweet and caring, the other moment, we are cold and crabby. We love challenges and anything that is less than challenging is so boring and routine for us though I am in a Please-No-More-Challenges mood right now.

We love men, and try everything to change them, and when they change, we shun them saying, "You know what? You aren't the same anymore. I don't think it is working out." CLASSIC! 

Sometimes, I wish we were like men-no drama, more understanding, more sensible, less emotional baggage. But we are women and we are loved for what we are. Despite all the drama and insecurities, we care. We don't portray our emotions like men. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Remember? (What the hell am I saying! Boo)

The major point-All men are cut from the same cloth. Men function similarly. Kind of. Almost. But women don't and never expect two women to act just the same. Yes, when one woman is sane and all that, the other woman is all about being cold and obnoxious; bickering and being loud doesn't mean we care anything less. We are women and this is how we are wired. It is hazardous to be stuck in a process of figuring us out. Let us be! *Girl Power*

Welcome to the World of Delusion!

India is a wonderful, wonderful country. We are meticulously outstanding in almost every sector and when I talk about every sector, well, I mean every sector, and delusion happens to be just one of those sectors. Sweet life! Of course, no country is perfect. Every country has flaws but we have mastered this art. Totally!

We marinate ourselves in various fallacies (All of us do. No one is an exception), and like the American Dream, our Indian Dream is quite a tale. And here we go...

It is a universal truth that most of the Indians are engineers. Well, I appreciate the fact that India is the country that produces the highest number of engineers every year but let us not get carried away with that, okay? "Only engineering can fetch you a job ya! Because medicine is too challenging, do engineering and get into an MNC ya! Arts does not fetch you a cushy job with a fat pay-check." This is a very common house-hold statement. What is it that we hold against Arts? I mean, really. If your child really wants to be a techie, well, let him be, and if he wants to be an artist, do not stop him. Just get over this engineering fad, alright. Hello parents, are you listening? 

We are shamelessly unaware of the American and English organizations. We want our children to work for Indian MNCs like we owe them something. I have this friend who works for Electronic Arts (EA), and EA is supposed to be the big daddy of the gaming industry and his relatives ask, "Why can't you work for Infosys? What is EA, anyway?" *Poker face* And yes, our folks have another misconception: An engineer can get into any organization. And do anything. I am a computer science engineer and no, I certainly don't know why the air conditioner is acting strange. Give me a break!

Women are supposed to master the culinary skills. And do you know what happens if they don't? They simply don't get married. Aila! It is strange how a woman is assessed on the basis of her culinary skills, dressing skills, the number of guy friends she has, the sort of the college she goes to and the metaphors. And everything has to be perfect. No sir, we are not Aamir Khan. We have our own trepidations, endowments, dignity and stuff. Yes, cooking for your man is not a wrong thing but that is not the only thing and if you say a woman's place is still in the kitchen, please, just hang yourself.

People from the same community flock and breed and whatever together! I know, that is hopeless. But this is India and we are in a sad state. I don't understand, what is it about this community, religion, caste system? Yes, apart from the foolishness, what is it really about? If Mahatma Gandhi and Ambedkar revisit our country now, they would be astonished. Wouldn't they just think that our country hasn't improved even a wee bit ever since their demise? I believe they would, because, we have been developing since decades. On a serious note, we talk about globalization, we brag about modernization, we discuss how our country can progress, we blame our neighbouring countries for a decline in our development rate and that is it, talking is all that we can do. We do not realize that it us. Well, this belief cannot change overnight but hasn't it been too many nights? Take a break, guys! Or I might just come out with another post-The Never-ending saga of Indian parents and their drama. The drama is just so mainstream, and weird and, oh yes, you lost me at your nugatory thought.

Our politicians lecture about secularism (My foot!) but they don't follow it. They are religion/community/caste/sub-caste/same surname (if there is such thing) obsessed, and it is such a shame that these people get elected and stand as the role-models of our country. I am vexed with this system but...truth be told, we choose our Government. So, yeah!!!

I wish I could write more but yawn, this is just getting too long and I don't want anyone to stop reading mid-way. Tata!

And oh, this is our Indian dream-an engineering qualification, a cushy job, a partner of parents' choice, and then, parents decide when you should bring a new life into existence, then, sadly, life is almost done living your parents' dream (Oops! The Indian dream) and we die in peace! Sweet, sweet life!

Disclaimer: India is my country and I love it. I hold no disrespect against anyone. No, I swear!