Tuesday, December 01, 2015

It's Okay to Screw Up.

By Sunaina Patnaik at Tuesday, December 01, 2015

There are days in my life when I set ridiculously high expectations from myself. When that doesn't happen, I tend to whine, think too much, and sulk into the wee hours of the night. When I was in school, I had a filthy habit of punishing myself when I did not meet the expectations. Right from starving to depriving myself of human company, I reckon I've done it all. I know, I know, that was quite a mean thing to do, nevertheless, I succumbed to those measures. Here's a confession, though. One day, I was absolutely upset about securing a second position instead of the first in a science fair, and I punished myself by putting my right arm in the deep freezer. I fell sick, no surprises there. Now that I think about it, I think I was crazy to do so.

As I grew older, I stopped resorting to self-harm. I learned to take pride in doing whatever I was doing, and to not chide myself for the things I was not meant to do. We had an event at work today where I goofed up a lot of times. I was nervous. I stammered. And to my horror, at the end of the talk, I announced 'THAT'S IT' like a fool. I was slightly..actually, scratch that..largely disappointed with the way I handled things. In fact, I whined about it constantly, without taking a pause. I kept questioning myself on what went wrong, and why I spoke like an imbecile by forgetting things that were easy to remember.

But, what the hell? I don't think it mattered. And I don't think people remembered it at the end of the day. The event went well and people had bigger issues on hand than worry about my goof-up. No one came up to me and announced that I closed my eyes while talking, nor did they say I kept fidgeting. Sure, my friends made fun of me, but even that didn't matter because they make fun of me every day.

So, here's the moral of the day: Nothing good comes out of whining (the current me) or self-harm (the old me). No one keeps a count of your mistakes. We all set ridiculously high standards about the things we do. That is alright! Honestly, it is perfectly alright. What matters is how you take things in your stride when you don't meet those expectations. If you're an over-thinker, over-analyzer, over-sulker like me, just chill. Everything gets better in the end.

P.S. Have you ever noticed how you have bad hair and a pimple on your face only on important days?


Tara Nair on 5 Dec 2015, 23:04:00 said...

I completely agree with you on this Sunaina. These are different phases of life and as years pass by the experiences brings the stronger you and you upgrade in maturity level. I too was an over-thinker and admirer of perfection. I learnt that perfection doesn't exist... ever. So better not to fret over it, cuz you tend to loose the best form of you. Glad to have here, you have a really good write-up style. Keep up the good work :)

Sunaina Patnaik on 5 Dec 2015, 23:17:00 said...

@Tara: Thanks a lot, Tara! :)


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