Monday, December 28, 2015

2015, Get Lost Now.

By Sunaina Patnaik at Monday, December 28, 2015

2015 is coming to an end. I have never been a huge fan of counting down the final days of a year as I don't care about New Year's eve or celebrating it. My obligation towards the new year is limited to a mandatory blog post and that's that. But what is it about 2015 that makes me want to hold on to it dearly? What is it about 2015 that I'll remember for years? And what is it about 2015 that will always put a smile on my face? I could not list out everything, but here are a few:

1. 2015 has been largely confusing for a lot of reasons. I won't dwell over them, but I'll tell you this. No matter how bad things seem today, they'll slowly fade in time. The people you try to forget, the incidents that bring tears, and the issues that torment you--they'll all fade.

2. People constantly tell me that I am lucky to be doing a job that I love. Touchwood! Two years ago, I never imagined I'd be able to break free, stand up for my dream and take up an actual, real-time writing job. Now that I am, it feels like a million bucks. Probably, nothing feels better than doing something you are passionate about.

3. I have loved and I have lost. It might not be a great story, but it sure made me write some. It was fun while it lasted though its aftertaste was bitter.

4. Goodreads tells me that I've read 59 books this year. I've read and re-read some great books this year. I breathed into the words of Murakami, cried into the pages of Jamie Tworkowski, traveled along with Italo Calvino and Ruskin Bond, and more importantly, I have found lost courage through the beautiful world that Elizabeth Gilbert created.

I cannot thank these writers enough for their lovely creations.

5. My unhealthy obsession with letters dates back to the 90s. I have written some and received some this year.

As we talk, I've used to send a letter to my future self. I think this is an immensely important activity that we must all indulge in. Go ahead, and write yourself one! I am sure your future self will be pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from past.

6. I have been turning into a reclusive person with every passing year. I am not complaining, though. I think I began enjoying my company so much that I don't feel lonely anymore. I itch for solitude.

I have cut ties with unhealthy friendships and I am glad that they are no longer in my life.

In a sad way, some relationships with my friends and family are a little strained. I am not even putting in an effort to repair them. Maybe it's time I do.

7. Not all families are perfect. No family is as nice as it seems. Some families are broken beyond repair, and some are held together by a really thin string. I am glad that I have a family and that I go home to them. This year certainly made me realize that it's hard work to keep your family together. I've learned it the hard way.

8. A few years ago, I've never imagined that I'd be buying a vehicle by 24. I have and every time I look at it in my parking area, I brim with joy.

I am learning how to drive and I am loving it.

9. I have openly discussed my emotions and issues this year. I have used several mediums for it -- my blog, one on one conversations, talking, writing, and above everything, by standing up for it.

I've said this earlier and I'll say it again. There is nothing wrong in seeking help, there is nothing small in admitting you are not okay. You are human and on odd days, your heart aches. Sometimes, longer. Be assured that there are a lot of people like you who feel what you feel. All you need to do is reach out.

10. My unhealthy eating and sleeping habits have taken a toll over me. Over the last two months, I have tried controlling them. I am hoping 2016 would prove to be a healthier year.


There is something about having your closest friends in town, even if you barely meet them. Two of my friends have left to the USA this year, and it hit me that I'll miss them only when I saw them walking away on our last meetings. I've never been great at goodbyes. They are hard, and I am pretty sure I'll never be okay with them. I've endured some excruciatingly painful moments yet incredibly lovely moments this year. I've made friends at my workplace and at unusual of places, and I am okay with doing that now.

In many ways, 2015 has been a year of unexpected surprises, separations, rediscovering friendships, self-discovery (almost), and of course, more writing.

To everyone who has been nice to me, gotten me cupcakes and were there for me, thank you. And to everyone who haven't done that, well, you have a happy New Year too.

P.S. The long followed tradition of falling asleep at 10:30 PM on 31st December shall be followed this year too.


saichandra sv on 28 Dec 2015, 11:58:00 said...

Happy new year...!!!! LOL from Dubai, UAE. Lonely soul-2 dots one curve.

Sunaina Patnaik on 28 Dec 2015, 23:34:00 said...

@Saichandra: Haha, thank you. To you, too. :)

Amreen Shaikh on 29 Dec 2015, 04:49:00 said...

Well written and insightful!

Do read my blog too and share your views here >>

Anonymous on 10 Jan 2016, 04:13:00 said...

Good one Sunaina. Very mature writing. Everything happens for a good cause. Just keep smiling and stay positive!

Sunaina Patnaik on 10 Jan 2016, 05:25:00 said...

@Amreen: Thank you.

@Anonymous: Thanks a lot. Would have been great if you had left your name. :-)

Anonymous on 10 Jan 2016, 07:21:00 said...


It's me. Your Instagram friend 😀

Sunaina Patnaik on 10 Jan 2016, 08:40:00 said...

@Anonymous: I have no Instagram friends for sure. But thank you for stopping by.

Anonymous on 10 Jan 2016, 09:52:00 said...

Hi. Yeah sure. I should have wrote "follower" :) My mistake!


Sunaina Patnaik on 10 Jan 2016, 21:10:00 said...

@Pinaki: Haha! I am just one of those people who doesn't believe in calling acquaintances as friends.

It is nothing wrong with it. :)


God Made Me Funky! Copyright © 2012 Design by Antonia Sundrani Vinte e poucos