Wednesday, March 16, 2016


By Sunaina Patnaik at Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I am a neurotic person. I have delusions and morbid visions where someone walks into my room in the middle of the night and steals my laptop, or that my car topples and the glasses shatter. Sometimes, I also have weird visions where my best friend (Sorry, Asisha, but I cannot help it) vanishes into thin air, poof! There is more, but let me spare you the thoughts.

I have no absolute control over these delusions and visions. Like love and luck, they walk into my mind when they want. And when they leave, they do at their accord. I am not the one to stop or command them to stay. Maybe, it is these strange thoughts that make me hold on to the people and things in my life ever so dearly.

For the moment, let me just put my delusions and visions aside. Let me bring my thoughts, the root cause of it all, into the picture. I always think about tomorrow. While it's not that bad a thing to do, it does seem a little lame when I refuse to enjoy the present. It does seem a little flimsy that I refute the beauty of 'right now' constantly while pining for the far-fetched future. Well, that's the hardship of being a major worrier.

However, a major worrier too has her share of good days. Like today! Because today, all I want to do is to listen to my playlist, read a lovely book (I'm reading one already), and eat at least two slices of pizza without worrying about the amount of food I'm consuming. Today, all I want to do is, not scold someone for ruining my coffee or weep in horror about what tomorrow holds in store for me. And more importantly, talk about it all to a certain someone who is a second chance I never dared to ask for.

As for worrying, well, let me worry about it tomorrow.



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