Love In the Time of Parenthesis.

I loved you with the wonder of exclamation marks,

never with an uncertainty of question marks,

and absolutely never with the conditions of asterisks,

even in between the commas and periods,

I minced my adoration in words and sent it to you

with underlines and double quotes,

on days when we went without dialogues and

maybe colons,

or existed in the form of ellipses

I hoped we could fall back into a state of normalcy even

if it meant through strokes and parenthesis,

but you?

you just never cared to read in

between the lines.

Tune for the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL4uhaQ58Rk

Trench.

Right now, my mind is a malleable trench of emotions and thoughts,

easily swayed as the gust of wind,

but also as composed as a stubborn ox,

maybe it has a mind of its own,

how ridiculous,

if my mind has a mind of its own,

unconditionally untamed by me,

then what is it that I can do?

should I tap into the inner realms of my mind

to remind it of my integrity?

or must I surrender to it?

it feels stupid, of course,

to dictate terms just because I want to,

but then, how do I stop feeling things that I

shouldn’t if I don’t break the silly trench free?

What If?

I've always wondered what is it that I wanted from you,

the questions were many,

the answers, none,

so what is it that I wanted from you?

did I desire the luxury of first taking your name every morning?

the roundness of your name, the simple joy of pronouncing it, syllable by syllable,

maybe I did want a little more than that,

for instance sitting across you with coffee and newspapers between us,

the mundanity of life that would have seemed better with our quirks,

actually, your quirks,

so what did I really want from you?

not certainty and never a peace of mind,

maybe I pined for the lavish comfort of just looking into your honey-coloured eyes at nightfall,

or count the stars without the worry of the daylight,

see, the problem is,

even after all these years, I'm still unsure and nonplussed about what I'm looking for,

in you,

the person who makes me want to abandon all my whims and caprices,

but then, stop, listen to the silence between us,

it's only growing and sometimes, growling,

are you feeling what I'm feeling?

or is this just a figment of my silly little imagination?

I don't know what tomorrow brings,

but what if it brings me?

maybe that's what, that's really what I want to know.