Thursday, November 13, 2014

A Letter To My 30-Year-Old Self.

Posted by Sunaina Patnaik at Thursday, November 13, 2014

Hello senior,
Your worst fear has come true.
You have turned 30. Oh no, no, no!

But on the brighter side, you are still young because you will turn 40 in 10 years and that would freak you out so much that I cannot even fathom to put it in words.
You will find this letter on your blog, in your journal, in your archives, drafts, and everywhere–do not fret, I will make sure you find it even if you decide to abandon the internet. (Highly unlikely!)
OKAY, so I am sure you got yourself a gorgeous dress, and a pair of Louboutins for your birthday, and I am totally sure a bunch of friends are coming over tonight. Well, let us hope you cook great food for them and spend a night under the starlit sky with Eddie Vedder's music playing in the background. 
You must be utterly pleased with your life at this moment. I would not say you are experiencing euphoria, but you are almost there. You must have definitely learned the trade of living an eternally peaceful life by choosing the right people over the wrong ones. Age is just a number, but wisdom is eternal. (I am talking like a saint now. Sweet!)
I am glad that you have a library in your home and you tend to use it as your workplace quite often. Hang in there, I envy you already. I totally understand, you have been writing better things and meeting some sensational people. Do not let success get to your head. There will always be someone smarter and prettier than you. Stay grounded.
You have turned into an even grumpier person with mood swings worse than ever and you are considering to join a rehabilitation center. JUST DO NOT.
Get a tub of ice-cream like your younger self. Geez, you were so much fun at 23!
You still watch romantic comedies and gush over them like a quintessential teenager. I am glad you haven’t lost the spark of a child in yourself.
In pursuit of reaching all your milestones, I hope you haven’t stopped appreciating the beauty of love and life. Let the mad rush be! You have always been a firm believer of the fact that wonderful things come in tiny packages. Take a break and look around yourself--beauty lies right there.
So, what have you gotten yourself from Paris?
Wait, what? You haven’t been to Paris yet? What about that perfect plan that your younger self has sketched out eons ago? It failed?
Well, you do not deserve a birthday right now. Go into your room, sit in a corner, eat oreos or whatever, and just weep. Idiot!
***
You have dived deeper into your career but you still manage to take time out for your family and friends. Pat yourself, you are on the right track. No matter in which part of the world you are, you act like a responsible woman. Unconventional, headstrong, and kind.
You must be having a pet-an adorable golden retriever. What’s not to love? You go home to it everyday.
Did you get that walk in closet that you designed? Oh, you did? How wonderful! You wanted it so badly, remember? Wow! And now, you own a beautiful home too. No, not house. A home.
You have invested your finances the right away. Oh wait, you have been doing that ever since you were 22, didn't you?
Oh shut up, I am not referring to your investment in shoes, I am talking about actual investments. You know, the gold and silver, or real estate, or just whatever is in trend then. I am clueless about these things.
Anyway.
I hope you have some credible amount of published work tagged with your name now. Without any labels and connotations, of course! 
You are where you intended to be. Touchwood!
I do not mean to mock you, but considering your track record, I cannot really figure out if you found the love of your life. If you have, hold on to it, be an equal in the relationship. You have found that one person you would want to call during melancholy and merriment. You deserve all of it, and more.
If you haven’t found the one, it is alright. You shall sail through this phase too. Gracefully! (With some wine, hopefully.)
In the process of getting older, you have gotten your heart broken several times, and you've had friends standing by your side like a solid rock. What would you do without them? You might be their fairy angel, but they are your sun and the moon. In bits and pieces.

You have found your soulmate in the form of love and friendship. Memories, photographs, and social media stand as a testament to all of it. Above everything, your very existence stands as a testament to it.
You have failed and stumbled upon hurdles, but you have emerged stronger with pain and failure. You were born to see the butterflies and stars, and not to settle down for anything that does not challenge you.
You have learned to gather yourself in distress; you have learned to unwind yourself from a busy schedule often and above everything, you have learned to embrace your flaws and vulnerabilities.

Count your blessings, you are the sunshine of your life.
As you finish reading this letter, you will find your lips twitch into a smile. This world is a beautiful place, you muse to yourself.

Happy Birthday!
Love,
23-year-old dorky self

2 comments:

Rikitha on 21 Sep 2015, 23:23:00 said...

Aww....that's sweetest thing I've ever read! ....
May you achieve all the good things you've mentioned above #23-year-old dorky Sunaina .....congratulations on your all success! I'm glad I came across a person like you, you've been living a life worth admiring, cheers to that & HAPPY BIRTHDAY! #30-year-old gorgeous Sunaina..;)

Sunaina Patnaik on 22 Sep 2015, 01:18:00 said...

@Rikitha: Awwww. Thank you so much. You're fabulous. :)

 

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