Friday, October 16, 2015

The Week of Epiphanies

Posted by Sunaina Patnaik at Friday, October 16, 2015

I am glad I could call it the week of epiphanies.


I have accomplished quite a bit this week and met most of my deadlines. I am happy. I have read two amazing books (I promise to write about them in the next post) this week and I feel so liberated. I love books like these - books that me cry, books that keep me up in the night, books that break my heart, books that make me ponder. I think only good books and sunsets can have that effect on me.


This evening, as I sat down to write a post on the multiple epiphanies, I figured I would only pick two of them and announce it to the world. Why? Because why the hell not!


1. My idea about the love of my life has always been slightly distorted. I fell in love for the first time even when it was an age forbidden to be in love. It was not with some guy, though. It was with Literature. It was with the world of books. Of stories. Right from my childhood, I have cultivated a habit of reading before I sleep every night. Even if my options were limited to Tinkle. I put myself in the picture often by writing silly poems and stories that my mother pretended to enjoy for the sake of her child.


I will be honest, though. I took my writing for granted. I abandoned it, stopped having conversations with it. I stopped nurturing it. Even worse, accepting it. But it did not leave me. It was by my side on the days when I was self-absorbed. And on the days when I was drowning in darkness. It did not break my heart like a certain boy did. Nor did it stop reminding me about its purpose in my life. That's how cool it is!


It probably, and will always be the only love of my life. As long as it wants to be. I am delightful for discovering our mutual love.


2. Like I already said, I could be a little self-absorbed sometimes. On the days when I am, I think the world revolves around me. It is days like those that force me to assume I am the only person who goes through pain. For the longest time, I thought all the first world problems were happening in my courtyard only and that it was the most intriguing part about me. I was making a huge deal about the pain I go through.


Well, it looks like every second person goes through pain. There is nothing sensational about the kind I was facing or whining about, but what really is my forte is the ability to write (It doesn't matter even if it is cringe worthy) even while enduring the pain. And that, definitely, and has to be the most intriguing part about my personality. I am not letting something like pain, fear, anguish signify my personality. We all have intriguing personalities. Mine is this, yours could be something else. But even the most intriguing part about us vanishes if we succumb to the chaos in our life.


I would not let mine vanish. Not in this lifetime.


P.S. What is the matter with the radio channels in Hyderabad? Have they stopped playing music or what? I waited for thirty minutes for a decent song but all that was played were advertisements. Sigh!


Anyway, you all have a great weekend.

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