Void.

How you fill your void tells a lot about you! At least that's what I believe. I look at people I barely know and wonder if they're always this lively; if they ever undergo a certain state of nothingness, bouts of loneliness or episodes of pain when life absolutely spirals out of their control. Because it definitely happens to me. When I'm trying to fill my void. With things of meaning and things so meaningless. I fill my void with stupidity, with random acts of kindness but also snide remarks, with foolhardiness and boisterous attempts at reconnecting with people. With exotic teas from the hills and melancholic poems also from the hills. Sometimes with people I don't care at all about so that I can indulge in nonsensical banter. Maybe with silence, weak tears, impractical imaginations and fancy castles in the air. On bad days, I fill void with ennui, hurting the ones who care about me or simply hurting myself. Because void does mean things to everyone and I just use that as a reason. On good days, I fill it with filter coffee, photographs from good times, poetry, and not-so-long lasting things of all kinds.

If how you fill your void tells a lot about you, what does it tell about me?

Tune for the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A

Mood Swings.

My mood swings are like shapeshifters.

One day, they are bottled up tight intact,

The other day, they are freely flowing.

They come in blacks when I anticipate the whites.

But when I expect the blacks, it's always the whites.

Grey areas, they announce unabashedly.

But grey areas are not what I like.

My mood swings are like shapeshifters.

They chase me into the darkness sometimes,

And prance around me like sunshine, the other times.

But it's more than just the confusion, you know?

To do the unwanted.

To want the undone.

My mood swings are like shapeshifters,

Even they do not know what they are in for.

It could be fancy, or it could just be plain.

But how would they know if all they do is surprise me?