Saturday, March 22, 2014

Do Men Cry?

By Sunaina Patnaik at Saturday, March 22, 2014

“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I am in a dilemma. Do men cry?

You know since when? Ever since ever. I cannot recollect.

But I remember watching Sherlock. (I can imagine my friends rolling their eyes, and mumble, "Oh no, not again."

You know the scene where Benedict Cumberbatch delivers a wedding speech in Watson's wedding? How quite endearing! Now, do not ask me why I thought if men cried when I watched that episode but maybe, a woman would have definitely cried in that moment. Seriously!

I digress.

As we all know, we live in a wonderful society. Our society does not approve men crying. We have heard, "Do not cry like a girl." I mean what, just what is a man supposed to do if he wants to cry? Our society has reserved weeping for women and anger for men. It is a very convenient choice that our folks made ages ago. Sweet life!

If a woman is sad or depressed, she cries. She cries her heart out and eats some ice-cream. I really want to know what a man does when he goes through emotional trauma. Does he hang out with the boys for a few drinks?  Does he listen to Taylor Swift? (In that case, he'd rather turn into a rock and be complacent.) Does he sleep for 48 hours straight? Does he secretly cry in the washroom? Or does he turn into a sadist? How does he get over the sad stuff, and all that? 

Emotions aren't gender biased. Okay? 

If a woman is crying, a man too should, right? So, why can't I see a man crying anywhere around me? (My friend, Anirudh, would just roll his eyes and claim that men are slaves to their emotions too and weep all the time. This boy could root for men and call them gold.)  

Some surveys (God knows who does these surveys. I have never been asked anything for a survey. Never. Ever.) prove that men tend to show their anger when they are sad or depressed. It seems like a plausible argument. But a lot of things can make a man cross. How would you be SO sure that he is angry because he is sad?

We all get hurt. We all have different ways of handling pain and trauma.

We all cry at some point in our lives. When it comes to women, the tear glands are forever active. It is quite astonishing how a 'sold out' sign-board on a pair of shoes you lusted for makes you cry for a week. And when it comes to men, even the biggest problem does not much make them wince. 

I am curious. I want to know what men do when they are sad and depressed. Do they cry? 

P.S. I will believe that a man can be emotional and vulnerable only when I see at least a considerable amount of men cry. Like women do.

And no, a baby boy weeping his guts out does not count. 


Anirudh Rao on 22 Mar 2014, 07:04:00 said...

It's an awesome blog. For me, crying is a difficult task(unable to fathom the reason for the same) and as you just said 'anger' is the outlet for a man and 'crying' is an outlet for a woman. Could very well relate to it personally..:)

Sunaina on 22 Mar 2014, 07:35:00 said...

@Anirudh: Thank you.

Jemina on 22 Mar 2014, 10:25:00 said...

I wonder about it all the time.
I have friends who get angry, who sulk and drink and what not but they just don't give in to their emotions, I wish they could at times keep their egos aside and not be afraid of being vulnerable once in a while, it helps in taking the baggage off...:)

Sushmit on 23 Mar 2014, 00:42:00 said...

I watch Transformers. :-)

Anonymous said...

I must say though I came to know your blog through Instagram. I instantly became a fan of your pieces. I read all of them and this particular article made me think alot. Will be looking forward to many more.
Best Regards ,

Sunaina on 11 May 2014, 06:46:00 said...

@Skomms: Thank you. :)


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