We’re a Generation of Self-Absorbed Individuals.

We are a generation of self-absorbed individuals,

Every morning, we soak in narcissism as we soak in Vitamin D,

Standing in front of the mirror, we admire our facial features, and maybe slyly ignore the ones that aren't so good after all,

We strive, we strive really hard to live the lives we carefully paint on our social media profiles,

But it's hard and often daunting,

Because the perfection we achieve on social media isn't a cakewalk in real life.

As a generation of self-absorbed individuals,

We live on gratification and seek validation,

Even when we claim we don't, we do,

We just don't say it, because we're too vain to admit

that our egos are bigger than our hearts and souls,

Our mess isn't ours alone, our heartbreaks aren't ours to embrace,

We break and heal with others,

We love and learn with people on the internet,

Our secrets are broadcasted in the daylight and we turn our lives into a mockery overnight.

We're a generation of self-conceited individuals,

Too broken to admit we're broken,

Too full of ourselves to see beyond our flesh and bones,

We watch as our lives fade and emerge between the newsfeeds and timelines,

Unfolding gently between the pretentious mornings and melancholic nights, we build constellations of our own,

We write stories for no one to read,

We laugh, half in love and cry over lost loves,

But in the end, we survive,

We breathe,

And we just live.

What Are Your Fears?

What are your fears? What terrifies you? No, I am not talking about spiders or crocodiles, dark streets or heights. I am referring to the patterns of fears that keep you awake till the wee hours of nights.

Do you have insecurities?

Because I have tons of them.

Copious amounts of them.

On a regular day, what are your fears and insecurities? Let me tell you mine.

The alarm on my phone goes berserk at 6 AM reminding me that it's time to do something productive and that I need the discipline to achieve things that seem too far-fetched. But on most days, I snooze it. Later, on feeling guilty, I wake up groggily at 6:30 AM only to end up staying in bed till 7:30 swiftly going through Twitter, Gmail, Facebook...basically everything social media. And Instagram. How can I forget Instagram? I live like my existence depended on it. Every morning, I look at so many beautiful pictures taken across the world on the screen of my phone.

I look at the pictures of Paris and keep troubling my mind if I would ever see the place or not.

I look at the perfect pictures of women with clear skin and sometimes, I don't feel very thrilled about the acne on my face.

I look at the pictures of couples holding their hands and staring into the sunset and feel a throbbing pain wondering if someone would ever love me that way. I look at those pictures and hope someone would not wake up one morning and stop loving me as if it was once a petty hobby.

I look at more pictures, assuming, always assuming that their lives are so much fancier than mine.

As I while away my time till 7:30 AM on Instagram, I realize my day is just beginning. I drag myself out of the bed to get ready for the job I love doing, the only thing I probably look forward to on weekdays.

Yet another thought of insecurity creeps in. What if one day I fail to put words on paper? What if I turn into a person with no passion?

During lunch, I am constantly worried about the amount of food I am eating, counting every crumb I eat and eat just one slice of pizza even when I crave more. I mean, the nature of my body is prone to put on weight. Like everyone else's.

Oftentimes I have a feeling of trepidation that I am missing out on life. That I am hurting my friends or attracting idiots. In both the cases, I end up in tears. I'm perpetually afraid of getting hurt.

It doesn't end right here, because, on my way home from work, I curse myself for not reading enough. For not doing more. For consuming lots of coffee. For being selfish. For not being a part of the important events in my friends' lives. For not picking calls. For ignoring messages and emails. For taking impulsive decisions. For being fragile. For being just me.

Yet my Instagram profile states otherwise. Like I have no fears or insecurities.

But I have tons of them.

Copious amounts of them.