Not Your Regular Trainwreck.

In this incredibly small life, we meet different people. Some great, some not so great. And some incarnations of Satan. Our life offers us all kinds of people, which is brilliant, because who doesn't like a bit of variety?

Unfortunately, we do not get to choose the kind of people who walk into our life. However, we are all fortunate to choose the ones we want to leave behind. We are in luck with that area of our life.

Where am I going with this? Well, let me just begin.

I am a 24-year-old writer. I have a good job. I have amazing friends. I like to be in control of my life and generally, I am. But, I could be a trainwreck too. What can I say? I have my horrid 'Can-I-Vanish-From-The-Face-Of-Earth' days too. And what else can you expect from a regular 24-year-old who is still trying to figure out what she wants from life? What can you expect from a 24-year-old who still has a little girl trapped somewhere inside her?

Before I digress any further, let me tell you more. I have opinions. Strong ones, weak ones, false ones, lame ones. I am unapologetic about expressing them. If you are a woman and you have an opinion that you're willing to put out in the open, I am hundred percent certain that you'll have haters, people who pit against you, and often to your surprise, people from your close quarters -- people who you think are your friends. It is sad that a few try to snatch your free will. It doesn't matter, of course. You'll still find hundreds of people (sometimes strangers) who say nice things to you, encouraging you to keep doing all that you do. To be all that you dream to be. Like I already said, we meet different people.

On an average day, when I deeply concern my mind with such mundane thoughts, I came across this quote by Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer is one hell of a woman and she is totally loved for speaking her mind out. It made me pick my pen and write this.

I could be clumsy, awkward, and like any normal person, I am bound to fail. I am not effortlessly at ease with a lot of things in my life and I could be a highly impulsive person. But I do realize and understand that I cannot become someone like Sheryl Sandberg overnight. It takes an effort to be like that and quite surely even she had to work hard to be that person. For most of us who expect to become things overnight or people who pass disdainful remarks at us do not practically realize that great things take a great deal of time. And you don't become great in a snap. You need to go through rejection, pain, failures, duh. But listen, no one decides to call you a trainwreck or bring down your self-worth.

Because you are your own story and you are not a regular trainwreck.

If I Ever Have A Daughter!

“Daughters. They were sometimes as familiar and intimate as honeysuckles in bloom, but mostly daughters were mysteries. They lived in rooms you had long since abandoned and could not, did not, ever want to re-enter.” 

― Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Names on a Map

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that life will never be a bed of dandelion seeds; life will gives a sucker punch and no matter what we do, it takes time to recover.

But I will be there, I promise.

I will give her a tub of ice-cream instead of admonishing her for scoring a B in math. I will not judge her. I will understand God has planned her for different things. 

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that friends are meant to be valued in every walk of life. I want her to spend her time and affection only on those who spend theirs on her.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know she might love a wrong man and feel let down in several phases of life. I want her to give in to the pain, hold on, and let go.

Even in the darkest of the days, I will be there, I promise.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to experience the beauty of literature and traveling. I want her to heal her pain with music and art. I will read to her in the night and remind her that she was raised to be like Nancy Drew.

If I ever have a daughter, I will teach her to be compassionate. I will teach her that kindness is above everything and even when looks fade, memories perish, and people transform for better or worse, kindness still endures.

I will love her and tell her the stories of Jane Eyre and Noddy. I do not want her to lose the spark of a child. Ever.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know the right man will never ask for more. He will see the worst and the best, and he will choose to keep the both. He will ask for sunshine and thunderstorm.

I want her to know that she should accept his annoying idiosyncratic nature and absolute adoration. Together!

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that she should have a career of her own - she might as well be a musician or do crafts for a living, but I want her to know that I will be there for her.

I promise.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that as she walks out of the house, there will be a zillion men who ogle at her like she is a lush piece of meat. I want her to face the sad reality of our society without a disheartened nature.

And on days when she rushes into home wiping her tears, I will remind her that she was born to be a fighter and that she has to fight her dire straits without depending on anyone. Like I promised, I will be there.

If I ever have a daughter, I will give her a pet. I want her to know that the love for animals is beyond everything. 

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to write a journal. I want her to embrace her vulnerabilities and shine bright. 

I will be there for her, I promise.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to be the protagonist of her story - strong and beautiful in her own way. I will love her for all intents and purposes. 

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that all memories are meant to be treasured. I want her to fall in love with her life and make fascinating memories all over the world. I want her to be a storyteller.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to understand that there are no free lunches in life. I will urge her and push her hard for the good stuff in the life.

If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that I am proud of her. 

And even if the whole world is against her, I will be there, I promise.

Oh, Please, No Relationships!

“I mean, if the relationship can't survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” 

― Nicholas Sparks

Long gone are the days when lovers would make everlasting promises, vows of their undying, unfathomably immortal love. 

Long gone are the days when a man and a woman wrote letters to each other, distance never mattered, and no problem was bigger than their relationship.

We are in 2014 now. Welcome to the world of commitment phobia!

While you all are free to roll your eyes, I would like to present a closer, and to be precise, a much clearer picture to you.

The man:

It is indeed a challenging phase for a man to make a woman fall in love with him. He will possibly do everything to impress her, he will ditch his friends momentarily and spend all his time, energy, and talent on wooing the girl.

He will travel twenty kilometers to get her an ice-cream because she has a craving. 

You look like you have been bitten by the Aphrodite. You are perfect. (Oh come on, even Aamir Khan isn't perfect.)

I will do anything for you, you are worth every risk, he says. I will make sure you never shed a tear, you will be treated like the most precious thing, he says.

There you go, the woman falls in love. The following two months are so ethereal, they are SO Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts that you might wonder if your life was based on your favourite romantic comedy.

If only life was a movie!

Reality hits you, son. 

You want to crawl out of the relationship so badly that you want your gorgeous one to drop dead. You want to go back to the days of being single, where a beer can with your guy friends gave you more joy than the supposedly most beautiful woman in the world.

All of a sudden, you want your life to be Indian Jones. And not some filthy romantic comedy. 

Love eventually fades, you say that, and you walk away. It is alright to be selfish.

You deserve better things. It is not you, it is me. (If she was so good in the first place, why would you let her pass?)

And then, you turn into a freak who becomes notoriously serious about career overnight. *Slow claps*

The woman:

I have no clue why the world says that women turn prettier and rosier when in love.

We basically don a pair of rose tinted glasses and go oblivious to all the things happening around us. In a relationship, a man and a woman function differently. 

In the initial stages of a relationship, while a man showers a woman with an obscene amount of attention, the woman does not. And she turns insanely, neurotically obsessed with you in the later stages, and the man simply wants to play FIFA or whatever with his male fraternity.

In the initial stages, you take an effort to dress up for your man, laugh at this eternally stupid jokes, and think he is utterly intelligent, and sometimes, you tend to give in to men with an IQ way lower than yours. 

Happens! You've put on your tinted glasses, didn't you? You did not just turn almost blind, you have turned deaf as well.

Days pass, and you regain your wits little by little.

You don't dress up for him any longer. Yet, your whole world orbits around him. How ridiculous is that? You do not give him any space. You scare him off.

You have a problem with everything he does. His jokes turn lame, his habits annoy you. 

My love has not turned obsolete. I need to save the relationship, you say it yourself and to that best friend between tearful sobs.

You give another shot at trying to reform the man. The poor soul does almost everything to turn into an image that he is not. Because he loves you, and your obnoxiously self centered habits do not annoy him yet.

Finally, you break up with him saying he is not the man you fell in love with. CLASSIC!

Why don't you just save yourself the heart-ache and avoid this eternally messed up thing? For we are in the era of commitment phobia where we let go of our relationships because of petty things which would not have mattered to lovers decades ago.

Disclaimer: Folks who are leading the fairy tale love story, this post isn't for you. The earth is still revolving around the Sun because of awesome people like you.