Let Me Love You At Your Worst!

Watson: Why is she like this?

Sherlock: Because you chose her.

The moment I watched this scene, I knew it was going to be the best part of the entire episode. It indeed did.

I vividly remember asking myself countless times, “Why did I choose you of all people? Could I not choose someone better?”

But I chose you.

I chose trouble. I chose disorder. I chose pain.

I chose you. Because you keep me emotionally alive. I chose my stupidity over shrewdness.

And for all intents and purposes, I fell in love with you and there isn’t a better way of expressing this, I reckon. I want to love you at your worst.

I want to love you when you crease your forehead because of the hot summer heat, I want to love you when you freak out because the food doesn't get delivered on time, and I want to love you when you are majorly disappointed with someone in your life. I will not brush it aside as a quarter-life crisis.

I will love you when you are tired and I know I must suffer the repercussions. I will love you and put up with all your whims and caprices. I will love you when things do not work out. I will love you even when I realize that you are pushing me away for my own good. I will love you even when you are going through a major trauma. I will love you because I know I want to be your strongest even at your weakest.

I want to love you when you break down, I will hold your arm, and stand by your side. I want to love you when you want me to hold you because you miss someone. I want to love you in your failure even when I am not with you in your victory. No matter whoever is with you in your happiness, I want to love you in your turmoil and despair; hopelessness and melancholy. I want to love you in your insecurities and dire straits. 

I want to love you like how a certain writer would love his first book, like how a painter would love his most underrated yet precious piece of work, like how a musician would love a tune that brings back all his best memories I will love you like how a poet would love his tragedy. I want to love you like how Moon would love the Sun. I want to love you like how an alcoholic holds on to his pain. 

I want to love you a little more. A little more with every passing day.

So, would you let me love you at your worst? Just let me.

This Is How You Raise Your Son!

This post is inspired from Thought Catalog's "10 Controversial Ways I Plan On Raising My Daughter." The moment I read it, I knew I had to write something similar.

People, or to be more precise, Indians are very concerned about how a girl child should be raised. You know there are a set of restrictions, and some really weird godforsaken rules that are passed on from the ancestors. Some rules are just beyond our comprehension. But I wonder why boys do not have to go through this major structure in their childhood. They are a little lucky. 

I know I am an amateur at this subject, and oh, I have no knowledge at all in this section but I really think it would be great if boys are raised up like this. (Some of the rules apply to girls too.)

1. Teach him. Teach him to respect people, and their ideas irrespective of the age. He must be able to respect people younger than him. Teach him to respect the right things. It does not really matter if the person who commits a mistake is older than him, he should be able to respect the right things only.

2. Art should be a major part of his childhood. Men who take interest in art tend to be smarter than the men who don't. They tend to be more considerate too.

Read to him in the night. Make him paint. Send him to music classes. 

Make a note that art and education should go together. 

3. Have you noticed that most of the men look for the qualities of their mother in a girl they like? It is impossible. Teach them that it is stupid. Your mother and the girl you like are two different people. No one can replace your mother. Teach them that from a very tender age.

This way they will not have any expectations.

4. Raise him without a religion, or a faith. You have been a religious chauvinist, and you know it. Do not let it get to him too. 

Give him the freedom to make his choices right from the childhood. 

5. It is okay if he fails and makes mistakes. Do not admonish him for that. 

It is alright if he scores 80%. Not everyone is meant to score 90%. In the process of abusing him for his performance at school, you are letting a 'Mozart in the making' slip away.

6. There is more to a girl than her looks, and her body. Teach him to respect women. 

This world has enough sexists already. We do not need more of them.

7. Do you find it strange that an individual changes massively after he turns into a parent? Of course, he takes up more responsibilities, and all that. But do you also realize that he turns into a selfish human being? He expects his child (boys and girls) to do everything as he wants. 

Give a break, people. They join the school, college, and an organization of your choice. You choose their friends and the person they are supposed to spend an eternity with. You choose their car, their house, its interiors and basically, everything. Why, just why do that? What is the point in raising a child when you intend to snatch their freedom from their hands when they turn 22-23? Don't you realize that you are turning your child into your replica? 

Seriously, it is not a cool thing. It is high time parents realize this.

Apart from this, we love our parents for all that they do for us. No offence.

8. It is too much for us to handle the male ego. 

Parents should raise a kid with the right amount of self esteem. Not ego.

You have male zeta ego? Good for you! Do not thrust it on others. 

9. Ask him to document his life. Give him a camera and a journal. Ask him to make memories and maintain a note of every tiny detail. Even the bad ones.

10. Travel a lot. Take him to different places. Meet different people. Introduce him to different cultures. Let him know the world. Just let him experience different things.

Goodbye To Your Favourite Fictional Characters!

“I like stories about supervillains. They teach children that you can accomplish great things even when the whole world is against you.” 

― G.D. Falksen

I have a really annoying habit of getting attached to fictional characters. Like most of the readers, I laugh, cry, and jump in joy along with them. Ah! The little joys of being an avid reader, right? All good things must end and so do the stories. How does it feel to bid a tearful adieu to your favourite fictional character? How does it feel to bid a goodbye to your favourite childhood hero? 

I agree, a writer immortalizes the character, the protagonists, the villains, and the metaphors. But the book comes to an end. *Sniff* We won't experience the journey of the character again. Unless, we decide to read the book again. And again. 

Who comes to your head when someone talks about fictional characters? Of all the characters I love, Hector of Troy tops the list. Truth be told, it was awful when he dies. I could never fathom why Achilles is SO overrated. There were moments when I felt Achilles was outright ridiculous. I mean seriously, Hector is an epitome of a true hero. 

Sherlock Holmes, my childhood hero, is one character that most of us love. All the followers of Holmes, raise your arms. (Woot! I see all of them raising their arms. Some of them raised both their arms in excitement.) The question here is why, just why did Sir Doyle end the awesomeness of Holmes so soon? There could have been stories, more investigations, more mysteries. More. Just a little more.

Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina is one of the most beautiful characters. I fell in love with her character the moment I read the book. Needless to say, it was very painful to see her go through so much agony. Leo Tolstoy created one of the best female protagonists with Anna Karenina. Such beauty!

Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?

Bruce Wayne! One cannot help but fall in love with him. And we all know how we felt when Bruce Wayne sacrificed Batman for the greater good. We had to leave a major part of our childhood there, and walk out. And we walked out, pouting and throwing tantrums like children. 

Jane Austen's Darcy is one of the most influential characters. Most of the women are SO into Darcy that they want their men to be like Darcy. How ridiculous! Saying goodbye to Darcy is one thing, but asking garbage to turn into gold? Not happening, ladies. Darcy is Darcy for a reason. If all men could be like him, Darcy would have never gotten so popular in the first place. 

I must also say that 90% of my friends wept when Harry Potter ended. They are SO delusional that they claim that it is a sheer injustice. They never wanted Harry Potter to end. They wanted to grow old with Harry Potter. Silly lives!

It is always painful to say goodbye to your favourite character. You treat your favourite fictional as a real person. You talk to it, cry with it, and laugh with it. I am glad I read, I fall in love with so many characters, live their lives and treat them as my own. We must be so glad, and thankful to all the writers who create such wonderful characters that were a part of us, and somewhere down the line, we'll meet more interesting characters. More stories. But the goodbyes are always heart wrenching unless the book is horrid enough for you to leave it mid way.

18 Things I Learned in 2013!

“For last year's words belong to last year's language 

And next year's words await another voice.” 

― T.S. Eliot

A year ago, I was spending one laid back evening at Truffles Cafe. What a simple way of welcoming a New Year! I admit it-it was the best 31st. It was perfect. Things have so changed so massively in a year. 

I sit down to write this, with so many thoughts in my head, and too many new songs in my playlist. I brood over all the things that happened this year. It has been one disgusting year topped with awful things. But, I've written down things that I learned this year. 

1. It is extremely difficult to hang out with people who do not enjoy food. Even if they are your closest friends alive on this planet Earth, I cannot be with someone who cannot enjoy food.

2. Indian writers are not bad at all. They are quite insightful. 
Jhumpa Lahiri, thanks for being with me this year. Your books were what I really needed.

3. People change. Things change. For good or bad.

You cannot expect things to be the way you want. *Sigh* So unjust!

4. A heartbreak can make you very vulnerable. It tears you apart. You see a different person in yourself. You see things with a different perspective. You change. A heartbreak is not simply an experience, it is a journey. We all go through it. Gracefully!

5. I saw myself going from "I don't want to wake up this morning" to "Let my room remain dark for I am doomed" to "I shall ignore everyone" to "Let me get sloshed" phase. And since my friends are my friends for a mighty reason, they stood by my side in madness and sadness. (It sounds cheesy. Yes, whatever!) 

6. It is alright to be alone. It is alright to go to a cafe alone, have a cup of coffee, and read a book.

For once, it is okay to go shopping alone and carry your own bags. 

It is better to watch movies alone too. Once can concentrate better. (Feel free to roll your eyes.)

7. Why, just why are people SO into this multiplex culture? It is an epic experience to watch a movie in a non-AC theater, located outside the city, without a parking lot. That is what I did this September 27. Boy, was it fun or was it fun? 

Also, the best movies are the ones I haven't watched in a multiplex. 

8. Facebook sucks. It leads to all bad things. It leads to stupid delusions.

9. Cooking takes your head off so many things. Practically, it makes you feel better. I turned into an awesome cook this year, and I just cannot stop bragging about it. Hello, are you listening?

10. There is never too much butter! I mean, really. 

11. Nothing like trance. 

12. First impression is always the worst impression. I am glad I did not go by the old idiom for I would have never made the friends I made this year. I made wonderful friends this year who put up with my whims and caprices, tantrums, ennui, and basically, every brickbat I threw at them. I am sure this trend will continue the next year, and yes, forever. Practically.

Sweet life!

12. I've started seeking comfort in words. Books. Not people. 

You've got a problem with that?

13. You can never hate the people you loved and adored once. You still feel the same about them.

You might be angry, and annoyed with them. I call it a momentary lapse of reason. 

And of course, there are always the second chances. 

14. Lately, I have realized that I am good at ignoring people. Most of the people. I am better off doing that.

If someone is trying to pull you down, if you have even a shred of dignity left, kindly shut them off. You don't need them. You deserve something beautiful. 

15. It is okay to not to have a clue on what you want to do, or what your lifetime plan is. Or what the back-up plan is if plan-A flounders.

For Christ's sake, I am just 22. I am young. I am learning. Let me make mistakes when I can afford to make them. 

16. Working in a corporate office is good. But having 100 bucks in the pocket of your pants as a college student is far richer feeling than having Visa/Mastercards in your bag. 

The coffee you share with your friends in a local place is better than Starbucks. 

17. I am glad I have a sister. Not a brother. I have enough cousin brothers who make my life painfully sweet yet miserable.

I am happy to have a sister who annoys me all the time, serves me bedside maggi, and lends me her favourite t-shirt once in a while.

18. Make memories. Take pictures. Your stupid brain won't store all the memories. Your pictures are the testament to all that you were. You didn't just have those moments. You lived them. Loved them. Take pictures. Document your life. It is worth it. 

I end this post on a rather nostalgic note. 2013, you have been incorrigible. Yet eventful. I shall never forget 2013. 

Thanks to everyone who were with me in this mad year. Also, the ones who weren't with me. Huge thanks. (No. I am not being sarcastic. *Grins*)

I hope you all have a smashing 31st and a wonderful 2014. And me? I already see a dirty martini enticing me.

Love,

Sunaina.

Happily Ever After Is A Fallacy!

“World peace, true love, and happily-ever-afters amount to wasted wishes, failed endeavors, and most precious dreams.” 
― Richelle E. Goodrich

Happily Ever After! What an overrated thing in the romantic comedies! I love romantic comedies, and notice the man and the woman end up living happily ever after. I mean, let us take Notting Hill, for instance. Beautiful movie, any day. But hello? Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant hail from two contrasting backgrounds, defy gravity, and yet manage to get back together in the end. Ask me how? That, my friend, is love. BULLSHIT!

All of us grew up reading these fairy-tales, watching Disney movies, an awfully high dosage of romantic comedies, all those classic love stories taking place in palatial mansions and we feed ourselves so much on these imbecile things that we assume love to be all velvet cup-cakes, sun-flowers and all the stupid things that come along with it. Of course, when we face the reality, we feel empty. Empty is still an understatement. It feels like you have been cheated. You know, like Disney cheated on you. Like, Grimm's Fairy Tales cheated on you. You want to hold on to that Cinderella dream but it happens in fiction only. If reality is SO cacophonous, why on Earth, were we fed the velvet cup-cake fantasy since childhood?

Let me be honest. Disney stories are stupid. Twilight is a disease. Ashton Kutcher is horrible in spite of being cute. Karan Johar's movies add up to your misery in the years to come. Jerry Maguire is hopeless. If there is any shred of reality to life, it is in Sarkar and Sarkar Raj because that is all I seem to watch on the television these days. 

I am not sure why love is an epidemic. Everywhere! This four letter word, why does it make the world go round, and round and yes, you get the drift, round. It is just that life would have been simpler if the world revolved around globalization, economy, and you know, things on which we could work and make the world a better place to live in. Basically, not the hopeless things. Yes, I just called love a hopeless thing. You sweet, adorable lovers, go on, sue me.

Alright now, who doesn't want the Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts story? Everyone does. We all believe in love and its grandeur. We all want a Happily Ever After. We deny it but we want it. But it is a fallacy. It is fictitious. No, don't you dare contradict me. 

Prince Charming, Happily Ever After, The One, Your Truly, The Soulmate, Made For Each Other? Someone, come kill me. These things aren't real. Disney cheated you and made a fortune, kid. Get over Disney and majorly, get over romantic comedies. 

This is just a self destruction and trust me, happily ever after is just a fallacy. 

Do not fall for it.

What Happens When You Date A Writer!

“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. … It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.”

—Enid Bagnold

Have you ever wondered how it feels to date a writer? Fall in love so irrevocably it feels like a redemption from your rather insipid past?

When you are dating a writer, you might feel like you are with a person who is suffering with a multiple personality disorder. You can never predict what's going on in his head. Is it about the latest article that he has read or the insecurity he is experiencing about a fellow writer?

Dating a writer comes with its own pros and cons. You put up with his mood swings, his whims and caprices, and even when you feel like an outcast at times, you long for more. If a writer takes you into his life completely, he will write about you, everything about you. He will scandalize your lives. Your life becomes an open book and you find people criticizing your life. Very often! You can never escape that. A writer immortalizes you with every word. If you don't matter, he will never write about you. He is an emotional, aggressive, and a constructive lover. He loves you for all that you are but never forgets the blunders you make. They are forever engraved in his mind.

A writer is delusional. Many a time, you find yourself awake at wee hours of night exchanging tales about his day and the people he has met. You find him curling into a ball, wiping his tears when a book has a dramatic ending. You find him self absorbed, and you cannot fathom why you are so connected yet disconnected with this man whose days begin and end with words. And not you.

When you date a writer, you are up to date with all the happenings and affairs of the world. You share your tales with him, he will lend his ear amicably, and correct you often. It is for your own good, he says. Nobody's perfect at Grammar, he says. Yet you find him chastising you for not knowing the difference between your and you're. On rare nights, you see him consuming copious amounts of coffee, editing an article. Hold his arm, read his lines out, and give an honest opinion. But do not try to be an editor.

A writer may go into his cocoon but he will love you like no other. He will make love to you passionately and introduce you to the enchanting world of Pablo Neruda and Jean Paul Sartre. He is possessive and wouldn't let you be a part of another story. You belong with him and you know it.  

You find him easily disturbed even over the nitty gritty bits of a book. You call him demented. He laughs it away. There are moments when you wish you had a simple life like others. You want to run away from his nasty temper, yet find yourself enticed by his mysterious nature. He has an air of arrogance around him. You fancy it. Admit it!

"Why do you like that writer better than me? He is a misogynist." He runs his brown eyes over your lovely face, hoping for an earnest response.

You find yourself maundering. How can you possibly fight with your man for a writer who was dead decades ago. You smile. You fall for his tender childlike nature. He is on par with an infant when it comes to emotions. You take him into your arms and tell him how good a writer he is, softly appreciating his flair at weaving stories.

When a writer really loves you, he will show you his vulnerable side. For a moment, he will dismiss his wits, and take you into world that he proudly calls his kingdom -- a place where you truly belong. A place where he sits with a Hemingway's book on a worn out couch. He will never let go of you. You might let go of him, and drift away from him. But he will always remember you as a story that was left unfinished, and trust me, he will forever yearn for an ending for a writer believes in endings. Even if it is a tragic one.

His pen will ache for an ending. Always.

An Average Indian Girl!

An average Indian girl! You find her in your neighbourhood taking her dog for a stroll, you find her walking on your street on her way from college, you find her laughing with a bunch of friends, you find her buying vegetables in a local market.

You see her taking pictures of all unusual things around her, you see her walking in the malls with her girl-friend and popping her eyes out at the price of the shoes she loves. She mentally calculates how much pocket money she has to save to buy those shoes. She grew up watching Shahrukh Khan's movies and it is her lifetime dream to meet him. 

An average Indian girl, you find her watching Gossip Girl and wondering if her life would ever be like that. You find her wondering if her life would be safer if she was in a different country. You find her drooling over Matt Bomer and Ryan Gosling. You find her on a call with her boyfriend and giggling. Sometimes, it could be annoying. So very annoying.

An average Indian girl, you find her locked up in a room full of books preparing for IIT entrance exams, a distant dream that would come true in a few months. She sacrifices the fun in high school, and ignores boy crushes for that dream. In the evenings, you find her cooking for her parents, and managing all the house hold work. She pampers her younger brother and buys him goodies with her pocket money.

An average Indian girl, you find her at the pinnacle of success in an MNC. You find her wondering why she is so discontent with the success. You find her wondering why she demolished her social life for this job. You find her unhappy, and moody. You label her as a control freak and a chauvinist. You fail to understand her. You fail to understand why she is disoriented with you.

An average Indian girl, married at a tender age, and sent far away from her parents to fend for herself. She doesn't see the world, and has no life to call her own. She dedicates her entire life to her family and spends some zillion hours in the kitchen. She seeks emotional attachment but never receives any. She lives a rather morose life yet fulfills every wish of her family members. She is the true star of her children and they dote on her. You find her sitting on a couch and wondering how she transitioned from a careless girl to a responsible woman.

An average Indian girl, you find her sitting on a comfy couch and watching a romantic comedy. You find tears rolling down her eyes the moment she sees Julia Roberts in distress. She often treats herself with a scoop or two of chocolate ice-cream. She loves drama, and you find her devouring all the books she could lay her hands on. She has mood swings, let me warn you. She splurges a lot on shopping and sometimes, lives in a denial.

An average Indian girl, deeply in love with her husband. She reminisces over all the memories of her college sweetheart (now her husband), their goof-ups, the secrets they hold, the honeymoon, and the first flush of their wedding. She is comical and dotes on her husband. She is the princess of his world and he reminds her that every moment. She believes in love and fairy tales. 

An average Indian girl, she goes around in a pair of denim shorts, black chipped nail paint, she listens to Punk rock, and holds a fancy camera in her hand. She looks at the world with her kohl filled eyes. She has a friend or two, and goes to a local place to have a drink occasionally. She writes a diary, and on odd days, she cries to sleep in the nights. She doesn't like discussing her trauma. She pretends!

An average Indian girl, she goes to the temple every Saturday and believes in God. She is feminine and beautiful. You find her day dreaming about her Prince Charming and she absolutely has no idea about her future. She smiles a lot and has a lot of friends. 

An average Indian girl, you find her in your vicinity, smiling at you, sharing an anecdote with you and laughing loudly. She is lively and she makes your life extremely delightful.