You, Why Don't You Just Be A Man?

Oh, so you just abused a woman!

You feel very masculine.

You must be wallowing in pride, right? Of course, you think you have attained manhood by behaving like an animal.

How many times have you come across a friend, who is having a hard time plodding her way out of an abusive relationship? A majority of women, all over the world get abused in several forms and it is quite appalling that despite a lot of initiatives, this hasn't reduced.

Of course, who takes initiatives seriously? You burn a candle in the name of the victim, walk for a while, take a pledge and forget about it altogether. 

You think it is alright to be abused by your man, best-friend, father, brother. You don't realize the gravity of the situation. You don't understand that, little by little, your confidence is getting crippled. Everyday!

Sometimes, you desperately want to do something about it. But you cannot! Because we live in a society where 75% of us think it is alright for a man to abuse a woman. He is a man, they say. He fends for the family and has his dilemmas, they say. If not the woman he loves the most, whom would he vent out on, they ask.

Pray, tell me, how? 

I am not sure why few men think it is their birth right to abuse women. If you are thinking it makes you look masculine and all that, trust me you are the most emasculative person ever. 

I am sorry that you are under the assumption that demoralizing a woman would make you masculine, superior, and all the metaphors that follow. Don't you realize that you are such a weak person that you cannot handle your own complications and you simply decide to disparage a woman by displaying your muscular strength? You are ridiculous! Accept it.

Women, your self respect can be damaged, you can be humiliated, you can be brutally hurt but nothing can actually take away what you are unless you succumb to it. And I hope you do not.

Open your eyes, and look around! Do you see those men who are chivalrous, civilized, and respect women? No matter how they are, no matter what they are going through, they choose to respect. They choose to love. They choose to protect. They choose to behave like men. 

Now, you!

Why don't you try to be a man?

You Are High. You Don't Know It Yet.

“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.” 

― David Sedaris

"You are high. Stop it now."

"I don't get high. I am perfectly normal. Oh, look I can perfectly walk with that 5 inch heel."

"Sure, you do. You walk with a panache."

Alright, this is one of those much cliched conversations that friends have. Drunk dialing, a weird habit, gives you mixed feelings. You feel miserable yet content; stupid yet happy; vexed yet pleasant.

The music keeps blaring in the background, some nondescript band, you feel a little buzzed and paint a hazy yet rosy picture of paradise. You feel ethereal. You hear your friends taking your name multiple times, and then one of them yells, "Someone snatch her phone."

Too late. The damage is done. 

"Save me." An unclear message that was sent from your phone to a stranger now. 

What? Just what were you thinking? Of course, in your defence, you weren't in the right senses. But did you just have to behave like a damsel in distress? Were you expecting a superhero to come rescue you? You retard! 

How many of us are actually familiar with situations like these? How many of us just don't give a second thought before doing nasty stuff when we are high? 

It is fun. I get it. You are young. You are meant to get wasted often. We all go overboard sometimes.

I have this friend who calls his lost friends only when he is drunk. He thinks it is fun. Little does he realize that he weeps the next morning! He confesses the little mistakes he has done. He whines about how the times have changed, complains about the quarter life crisis. Like most of us, the twenty somethings, he cannot clean his own mess. Sweet life!

The obsession of drunk dialing takes over you SO much that it gives you a whiplash. You wake up in the morning, your head heavy, your life disoriented, ashamed of the things you've done. It brings back all the painful memories of the past. Some tiny part of you, lost between the molasses of fat, or ugh, non-fat in your body wants to hold on to those memories, you go nostalgic, and whoa, you decide to humiliate yourself. Perfect! The bliss of getting alcohol in your body is all gone. It is not fun anymore. I mean look at you, you have turned into an emotional masochist.

But some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way!

So the next time you are drunk, cut yourself from the technology, survey the damage, and apologize. Let go of the things that make you want to drunk dial. They are destructive and not worth it.

Get a cup of coffee, laugh about it, and do some epic shit. I am certain most of the artists would agree with me on this, some of the best work is done when you are drunk, when your brain stops functioning, when you stop whacking yourself with practicality.

You get high.

You just don't know it yet.

Let Me Love You At Your Worst!

Watson: Why is she like this?

Sherlock: Because you chose her.

The moment I watched this scene, I knew it was going to be the best part of the entire episode. It indeed did.

I vividly remember asking myself countless times, “Why did I choose you of all people? Could I not choose someone better?”

But I chose you.

I chose trouble. I chose disorder. I chose pain.

I chose you. Because you keep me emotionally alive. I chose my stupidity over shrewdness.

And for all intents and purposes, I fell in love with you and there isn’t a better way of expressing this, I reckon. I want to love you at your worst.

I want to love you when you crease your forehead because of the hot summer heat, I want to love you when you freak out because the food doesn't get delivered on time, and I want to love you when you are majorly disappointed with someone in your life. I will not brush it aside as a quarter-life crisis.

I will love you when you are tired and I know I must suffer the repercussions. I will love you and put up with all your whims and caprices. I will love you when things do not work out. I will love you even when I realize that you are pushing me away for my own good. I will love you even when you are going through a major trauma. I will love you because I know I want to be your strongest even at your weakest.

I want to love you when you break down, I will hold your arm, and stand by your side. I want to love you when you want me to hold you because you miss someone. I want to love you in your failure even when I am not with you in your victory. No matter whoever is with you in your happiness, I want to love you in your turmoil and despair; hopelessness and melancholy. I want to love you in your insecurities and dire straits. 

I want to love you like how a certain writer would love his first book, like how a painter would love his most underrated yet precious piece of work, like how a musician would love a tune that brings back all his best memories I will love you like how a poet would love his tragedy. I want to love you like how Moon would love the Sun. I want to love you like how an alcoholic holds on to his pain. 

I want to love you a little more. A little more with every passing day.

So, would you let me love you at your worst? Just let me.

This Is How You Raise Your Son!

This post is inspired from Thought Catalog's "10 Controversial Ways I Plan On Raising My Daughter." The moment I read it, I knew I had to write something similar.

People, or to be more precise, Indians are very concerned about how a girl child should be raised. You know there are a set of restrictions, and some really weird godforsaken rules that are passed on from the ancestors. Some rules are just beyond our comprehension. But I wonder why boys do not have to go through this major structure in their childhood. They are a little lucky. 

I know I am an amateur at this subject, and oh, I have no knowledge at all in this section but I really think it would be great if boys are raised up like this. (Some of the rules apply to girls too.)

1. Teach him. Teach him to respect people, and their ideas irrespective of the age. He must be able to respect people younger than him. Teach him to respect the right things. It does not really matter if the person who commits a mistake is older than him, he should be able to respect the right things only.

2. Art should be a major part of his childhood. Men who take interest in art tend to be smarter than the men who don't. They tend to be more considerate too.

Read to him in the night. Make him paint. Send him to music classes. 

Make a note that art and education should go together. 

3. Have you noticed that most of the men look for the qualities of their mother in a girl they like? It is impossible. Teach them that it is stupid. Your mother and the girl you like are two different people. No one can replace your mother. Teach them that from a very tender age.

This way they will not have any expectations.

4. Raise him without a religion, or a faith. You have been a religious chauvinist, and you know it. Do not let it get to him too. 

Give him the freedom to make his choices right from the childhood. 

5. It is okay if he fails and makes mistakes. Do not admonish him for that. 

It is alright if he scores 80%. Not everyone is meant to score 90%. In the process of abusing him for his performance at school, you are letting a 'Mozart in the making' slip away.

6. There is more to a girl than her looks, and her body. Teach him to respect women. 

This world has enough sexists already. We do not need more of them.

7. Do you find it strange that an individual changes massively after he turns into a parent? Of course, he takes up more responsibilities, and all that. But do you also realize that he turns into a selfish human being? He expects his child (boys and girls) to do everything as he wants. 

Give a break, people. They join the school, college, and an organization of your choice. You choose their friends and the person they are supposed to spend an eternity with. You choose their car, their house, its interiors and basically, everything. Why, just why do that? What is the point in raising a child when you intend to snatch their freedom from their hands when they turn 22-23? Don't you realize that you are turning your child into your replica? 

Seriously, it is not a cool thing. It is high time parents realize this.

Apart from this, we love our parents for all that they do for us. No offence.

8. It is too much for us to handle the male ego. 

Parents should raise a kid with the right amount of self esteem. Not ego.

You have male zeta ego? Good for you! Do not thrust it on others. 

9. Ask him to document his life. Give him a camera and a journal. Ask him to make memories and maintain a note of every tiny detail. Even the bad ones.

10. Travel a lot. Take him to different places. Meet different people. Introduce him to different cultures. Let him know the world. Just let him experience different things.

Goodbye To Your Favourite Fictional Characters!

“I like stories about supervillains. They teach children that you can accomplish great things even when the whole world is against you.” 

― G.D. Falksen

I have a really annoying habit of getting attached to fictional characters. Like most of the readers, I laugh, cry, and jump in joy along with them. Ah! The little joys of being an avid reader, right? All good things must end and so do the stories. How does it feel to bid a tearful adieu to your favourite fictional character? How does it feel to bid a goodbye to your favourite childhood hero? 

I agree, a writer immortalizes the character, the protagonists, the villains, and the metaphors. But the book comes to an end. *Sniff* We won't experience the journey of the character again. Unless, we decide to read the book again. And again. 

Who comes to your head when someone talks about fictional characters? Of all the characters I love, Hector of Troy tops the list. Truth be told, it was awful when he dies. I could never fathom why Achilles is SO overrated. There were moments when I felt Achilles was outright ridiculous. I mean seriously, Hector is an epitome of a true hero. 

Sherlock Holmes, my childhood hero, is one character that most of us love. All the followers of Holmes, raise your arms. (Woot! I see all of them raising their arms. Some of them raised both their arms in excitement.) The question here is why, just why did Sir Doyle end the awesomeness of Holmes so soon? There could have been stories, more investigations, more mysteries. More. Just a little more.

Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina is one of the most beautiful characters. I fell in love with her character the moment I read the book. Needless to say, it was very painful to see her go through so much agony. Leo Tolstoy created one of the best female protagonists with Anna Karenina. Such beauty!

Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?

Bruce Wayne! One cannot help but fall in love with him. And we all know how we felt when Bruce Wayne sacrificed Batman for the greater good. We had to leave a major part of our childhood there, and walk out. And we walked out, pouting and throwing tantrums like children. 

Jane Austen's Darcy is one of the most influential characters. Most of the women are SO into Darcy that they want their men to be like Darcy. How ridiculous! Saying goodbye to Darcy is one thing, but asking garbage to turn into gold? Not happening, ladies. Darcy is Darcy for a reason. If all men could be like him, Darcy would have never gotten so popular in the first place. 

I must also say that 90% of my friends wept when Harry Potter ended. They are SO delusional that they claim that it is a sheer injustice. They never wanted Harry Potter to end. They wanted to grow old with Harry Potter. Silly lives!

It is always painful to say goodbye to your favourite character. You treat your favourite fictional as a real person. You talk to it, cry with it, and laugh with it. I am glad I read, I fall in love with so many characters, live their lives and treat them as my own. We must be so glad, and thankful to all the writers who create such wonderful characters that were a part of us, and somewhere down the line, we'll meet more interesting characters. More stories. But the goodbyes are always heart wrenching unless the book is horrid enough for you to leave it mid way.

18 Things I Learned in 2013!

“For last year's words belong to last year's language 

And next year's words await another voice.” 

― T.S. Eliot

A year ago, I was spending one laid back evening at Truffles Cafe. What a simple way of welcoming a New Year! I admit it-it was the best 31st. It was perfect. Things have so changed so massively in a year. 

I sit down to write this, with so many thoughts in my head, and too many new songs in my playlist. I brood over all the things that happened this year. It has been one disgusting year topped with awful things. But, I've written down things that I learned this year. 

1. It is extremely difficult to hang out with people who do not enjoy food. Even if they are your closest friends alive on this planet Earth, I cannot be with someone who cannot enjoy food.

2. Indian writers are not bad at all. They are quite insightful. 
Jhumpa Lahiri, thanks for being with me this year. Your books were what I really needed.

3. People change. Things change. For good or bad.

You cannot expect things to be the way you want. *Sigh* So unjust!

4. A heartbreak can make you very vulnerable. It tears you apart. You see a different person in yourself. You see things with a different perspective. You change. A heartbreak is not simply an experience, it is a journey. We all go through it. Gracefully!

5. I saw myself going from "I don't want to wake up this morning" to "Let my room remain dark for I am doomed" to "I shall ignore everyone" to "Let me get sloshed" phase. And since my friends are my friends for a mighty reason, they stood by my side in madness and sadness. (It sounds cheesy. Yes, whatever!) 

6. It is alright to be alone. It is alright to go to a cafe alone, have a cup of coffee, and read a book.

For once, it is okay to go shopping alone and carry your own bags. 

It is better to watch movies alone too. Once can concentrate better. (Feel free to roll your eyes.)

7. Why, just why are people SO into this multiplex culture? It is an epic experience to watch a movie in a non-AC theater, located outside the city, without a parking lot. That is what I did this September 27. Boy, was it fun or was it fun? 

Also, the best movies are the ones I haven't watched in a multiplex. 

8. Facebook sucks. It leads to all bad things. It leads to stupid delusions.

9. Cooking takes your head off so many things. Practically, it makes you feel better. I turned into an awesome cook this year, and I just cannot stop bragging about it. Hello, are you listening?

10. There is never too much butter! I mean, really. 

11. Nothing like trance. 

12. First impression is always the worst impression. I am glad I did not go by the old idiom for I would have never made the friends I made this year. I made wonderful friends this year who put up with my whims and caprices, tantrums, ennui, and basically, every brickbat I threw at them. I am sure this trend will continue the next year, and yes, forever. Practically.

Sweet life!

12. I've started seeking comfort in words. Books. Not people. 

You've got a problem with that?

13. You can never hate the people you loved and adored once. You still feel the same about them.

You might be angry, and annoyed with them. I call it a momentary lapse of reason. 

And of course, there are always the second chances. 

14. Lately, I have realized that I am good at ignoring people. Most of the people. I am better off doing that.

If someone is trying to pull you down, if you have even a shred of dignity left, kindly shut them off. You don't need them. You deserve something beautiful. 

15. It is okay to not to have a clue on what you want to do, or what your lifetime plan is. Or what the back-up plan is if plan-A flounders.

For Christ's sake, I am just 22. I am young. I am learning. Let me make mistakes when I can afford to make them. 

16. Working in a corporate office is good. But having 100 bucks in the pocket of your pants as a college student is far richer feeling than having Visa/Mastercards in your bag. 

The coffee you share with your friends in a local place is better than Starbucks. 

17. I am glad I have a sister. Not a brother. I have enough cousin brothers who make my life painfully sweet yet miserable.

I am happy to have a sister who annoys me all the time, serves me bedside maggi, and lends me her favourite t-shirt once in a while.

18. Make memories. Take pictures. Your stupid brain won't store all the memories. Your pictures are the testament to all that you were. You didn't just have those moments. You lived them. Loved them. Take pictures. Document your life. It is worth it. 

I end this post on a rather nostalgic note. 2013, you have been incorrigible. Yet eventful. I shall never forget 2013. 

Thanks to everyone who were with me in this mad year. Also, the ones who weren't with me. Huge thanks. (No. I am not being sarcastic. *Grins*)

I hope you all have a smashing 31st and a wonderful 2014. And me? I already see a dirty martini enticing me.

Love,

Sunaina.

Happily Ever After Is A Fallacy!

“World peace, true love, and happily-ever-afters amount to wasted wishes, failed endeavors, and most precious dreams.” 
― Richelle E. Goodrich

Happily Ever After! What an overrated thing in the romantic comedies! I love romantic comedies, and notice the man and the woman end up living happily ever after. I mean, let us take Notting Hill, for instance. Beautiful movie, any day. But hello? Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant hail from two contrasting backgrounds, defy gravity, and yet manage to get back together in the end. Ask me how? That, my friend, is love. BULLSHIT!

All of us grew up reading these fairy-tales, watching Disney movies, an awfully high dosage of romantic comedies, all those classic love stories taking place in palatial mansions and we feed ourselves so much on these imbecile things that we assume love to be all velvet cup-cakes, sun-flowers and all the stupid things that come along with it. Of course, when we face the reality, we feel empty. Empty is still an understatement. It feels like you have been cheated. You know, like Disney cheated on you. Like, Grimm's Fairy Tales cheated on you. You want to hold on to that Cinderella dream but it happens in fiction only. If reality is SO cacophonous, why on Earth, were we fed the velvet cup-cake fantasy since childhood?

Let me be honest. Disney stories are stupid. Twilight is a disease. Ashton Kutcher is horrible in spite of being cute. Karan Johar's movies add up to your misery in the years to come. Jerry Maguire is hopeless. If there is any shred of reality to life, it is in Sarkar and Sarkar Raj because that is all I seem to watch on the television these days. 

I am not sure why love is an epidemic. Everywhere! This four letter word, why does it make the world go round, and round and yes, you get the drift, round. It is just that life would have been simpler if the world revolved around globalization, economy, and you know, things on which we could work and make the world a better place to live in. Basically, not the hopeless things. Yes, I just called love a hopeless thing. You sweet, adorable lovers, go on, sue me.

Alright now, who doesn't want the Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts story? Everyone does. We all believe in love and its grandeur. We all want a Happily Ever After. We deny it but we want it. But it is a fallacy. It is fictitious. No, don't you dare contradict me. 

Prince Charming, Happily Ever After, The One, Your Truly, The Soulmate, Made For Each Other? Someone, come kill me. These things aren't real. Disney cheated you and made a fortune, kid. Get over Disney and majorly, get over romantic comedies. 

This is just a self destruction and trust me, happily ever after is just a fallacy. 

Do not fall for it.